About the Author: I’m Wayne. I’m a baker by trade, and am now working full time as an Endorsed Enrollled Nurse I have a 13 year old son from a previous relationship, and am happily married to the most beautiful woman God ever put breath into. Together we have a 19 month old baby boy, and are expecting again in May. My wife and kids are my world. I often wonder what did I do in order to be blessed with such an amazing family. I do thank God each and every day.
I believe there are 4 main factors in a healthy relationship.
LOVE, TRUST, RESPECT, AND SEX.
This is a practical exercise!
Get a pen and paper
In the middle of the page, draw 2 stick figures. One male, and the other, a female)
now draw a square around the 2 stick figures. (4 lines)
Now, on one line, write the word LOVE
on the 2nd line, write the word TRUST
On the 3rd line, write the word RESPECT
on the 4th line, Write the word SEX
What you now see, is 2 people, trapped inside a square, with each wall, representing what I believe to be the 4 most important things in a relationship. (note the word TRAPPED).
Now, if any one of these 4 factors fade/evaporate, the walls fall down, leaving a doorway for either person to exit, or anyone else to come inside.I am lucky. My wife and I have these 4 things.
I hope you all have these things in your relationships.
Its the key to a very healthy, everlasting Marriage.
On the 3rd line, write the word RESPECT
on the 4th line, Write the word SEX
What you now see, is 2 people, trapped inside a square, with each wall, representing what I believe to be the 4 most important things in a relationship. (note the word TRAPPED).
Now, if any one of these 4 factors fade/evaporate, the walls fall down, leaving a doorway for either person to exit, or anyone else to come inside.I am lucky. My wife and I have these 4 things.
I hope you all have these things in your relationships.
Its the key to a very healthy, everlasting Marriage.
What are your thoughts on love – what makes a relationship work?
6 Replies
I love the room/square analogy. I agree that the slightest waver in all of those "walls", and you run the risk of opening yourself up to relationship failure.
No sex and we start to feel undesired or undesirable, we start to lose our emotional bond, and we might even getting frisky somewhere else.
No respect or no love - well, they both just lead straight down the drain, bit by slow bit. Without total respect for each other and your relationship, and without unconditional love, you won't value, honour or truly care for one another. Without respect comes the dreaded "dislike" of the other person's habits as well as their inner person, and without unconditional love... well... fail.
No trust is trickier because it doesn't only refer to infidelity. You have to trust and believe in your partner's love and commitment to you and your relationship. Without trust there is no such belief, and without that, your relationship won't be built on a solid foundation.
I would want to add commitment into the mix, but the concept of commitment is so closely tied to respect and love, that I'm not sure where it best fits in the square/wall analogy. Plus, if you have all four - love, respect, sex and trust - then surely commitment falls into line? I can't imagine otherwise, but maybe others have had different experiences?
I'm twice divorced. I've made mistakes. But I still believe that a strong and true relationship can survive the tests of time. I've lived the four wall thing and I've seen how in times of emotional crisis, the walls can start to crack. And I've seen first hand how easily those crumbling walls can destroy relationships. The only way to ensure against "wall cracks", for want of a better phrase, is to acknowledge and accept that these walls exist, and to therefore do everything it takes to keep those walls strong.
It's not about being "trapped" in a negative sense, it's about being 100% happily stuck in that perfect square of true love.
Great post!
Dammit, I meant to say "the slighest waver in ANY of those walls", not ALL. I don't know how to edit!
In order to maintain those four things, love, trust, respect and sex, you need communication!!!
Maybe you could work that into your analogy somehow :)
Good work!!
Ok, so my subject line didn't show, it said 'I love your analogy, but...'
Agreed communication would be a good addition to the analogy, love the concept though.
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