My last pregnancy I had a then really close friend in the room while I birthed my baby. Admittedly she was a really great support person during the stress of labour. This time round we are not as close, life has gotten the better of us and she has made some pretty selfish choices that have driven me away. However she is trying to make amends as she realises how awful she was to me and how her selfish choices impacted me and in turn our friendship. I am fast approaching my due date and she is hinting she'd love to be in the room again. I want hubby and another aupport person but not her, as even though she is attempting to fix us I'm not quite at the sharing another big moment like that with her stage. I'm worried about how she'll take me having someone else but not her in the room. I don't want to hurt her but I feel birthing a baby is one of the times its okay to be a little selfish. For the sake of our friendship should I just get over it and let her be there?
4 Replies
No. She needs to get over it and understand that you don't want her there. You need to be focused and comfortable.
Just say "I feel like you're expecting me to need you again for the birth - I really don't need anyone else as I have hubby and (friend) coming with me. I just needed you to know up front."
Unless she's specifically asked you if she can be there, I wouldn't even bring it up. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. It's a very intimate special moment and it's entirely up to you who you share it with.
You are under no obligation to have your friend in the delivery room just because she was there for the first. If she has a problem with that then that's on her.
Nope youre right, choose whos right for you now or youll regret it. You dont owe anyone anything, normally you only have who you need but I do think its lovely that shes realised you might need her and has gone the effort of making sure shes there and your friendship is ok.