I am currently pregnant with my first baby. At our Morphology scan we were told we were having a girl. I have just had a private 3D scan (not a medical professional) and we were told baby has a penis.
I don't know how to feel. I really do love my baby but for about 12 weeks I have been bonding with my baby girl and I feel she has been taken from me and I absolutely hate myself for feeling this way, because I really just want a healthy baby.
I wish we never found out the gender. To make me feel even worse, we have already had our baby shower and received so many girls things.
Please tell me I am not alone and this feeling will go away and that I will bond with my baby boy? I don't want to feel like this for the next 7 weeks
15 Replies
Step one push away gender stereotypes. I understand feeling disappointed but there is no reason you can't use a lot of the stuff you received even if baby is a boy. Boys can wear pink too. He's not going to explode haha he's a baby. My 6 year old currently wears a lot of 'girl clothes' and plays with 'girls toys'. They don't grow up how anyone expects so it's kind useless to dream about having a certain sex because they may decide to become to opersit as young as two or even just not want to follow what society decides for them. My comments is based on what I guess you are thinking of why you want a girl and for the reasons you have bonded. Those reasons push them on. I have a wonderful bond with my son and it wouldn't be any stronger or different if he was a girl. A girl will still refuse haircuts. A girl will still jump in muddy puddles. A boy gives beautiful hugs and kisses and their love is strong just like a girls. Girls and boys are not that much different. Girls and boys both can be beautiful if given the chance. please don't stress about what you have lol a friend freaked out when she found out her girl wasn't a boy and gave away everything blue.
OP here - Thank you. I think I was just in shock yesterday. I am feeling heaps better today. I love my baby and I will always love my baby. We didn't care if bubs was a boy or girl before we found out. I am going to keep enjoying my pregnancy and my precious baby
The only, 100% guaranteed way to know baby's gender is giving birth. Scans can be wrong, ultrasound techs can be wrong.
Personally, I would be more inclined to believe the actual medical professional in this situation rather than the 'private' unqualified tech.
At the end of the day, having a few "wrong coloured" clothes isn't the end of the world. You we're expecting a baby and you're going to get a baby. I promise you, once you lay eyes on him or her you will not care what's between their legs in the slightest.
If it's really upsetting you, go get another scan (by a fully qualified ultrasound tech) but really, it can only be one of two options lol xx
Op here - Thank you. We are having another growth scan in a couple of weeks, so will definitely be asking them to check. I am not really upset bubs is a boy, I think I was just that we had started calling her by the name we had chosen. I still love my baby, it doesn't matter if bubs is a boy or girl. I am still blessed
Think about what it was about a girl baby that you perceived yourself as bonding with?
What activities would you do with a girl baby that you can't do with any baby?
My son is awesome at coffee dates, hairdresser appointments and shopping.
As a girl baby I loved helping my dad work on cars, and hanging out in the shed.
My son had a baby doll, with a stroller and a tool bench with tools. He loved both equally.
OP here- Thank you. I am so blessed just to be pregnant and my baby is so loved and very wanted. I think it was just the shock of thinking of bubs as a girl for the 12 weeks.
Oh you poor thing, i really empathize for you. I think how you are feeling would be totally normal. You got excited and prepared at the news of having a particular gender, for many weeks, and now you have expecting the opposite gender. Of course you are going to feel some grief and a little unsettled. Pack all the pink stuff away for possible future daughter and go buy a couple of sweet little boy things. Once you hold your healthy gorgeous little baby, all those feelings will melt away. Good luck lovely.
Thank you so much for your reply. We are going to wait for our next scan just to be sure. But I am feeling so much better today. Baby is loved and wanted no matter who they turn out to be
This happened to me for my first baby I was told I was having a boy too and ended up having a girl. Had all boys clothing and named picked. As shocked as I was as soon as seen my baby for the first time it didn't matter, I did feel the same as you for a while but it deff went away in that instant as soon as I seen her and knowing she was healthy.
Thank you. It is good to know that what I was feeling was normal. It was a shock but I am feeling much better and bubs has been kicking up a storm all day. It really doesn't matter is a boy or a girl they are still very much loved and wanted.
As soon as you see that baby you won't care...I promise...give yourself time..baby boys are wonderful <3
Oh wow! Maybe I better not be too hasty throwing out my boy clothes 😂.
I have three boys and I'm pregnant with my 4th who i was told is a girl at my 20 week scan. I was so shocked i told her to check again and she did and said she is definitely certain it's a girl. I think I'll hang onto a few blue things.
Good luck with your little baby boy. They are so precious. Xx
I would be holding on to some blue things just in case. They were definitely certain at our 20 weeks scan as well
We were told our baby was a boy, I was secretly disappointed as we only just had a boy.
She was born a girl, at 1st I did not believe them.
She is about to turn 7 and as girly as they come.
It will all change on the day!
Original Poster here - I just want to Thank you to all here and on the Facebook page for sharing your stories. You are a great support.
I had a moment of feeling sad and sorry for myself but I am feeling much better. I am still bonding with bubs and I have so much love for him or her ☺
To anyone who may be upset by my post due to fertility issues and being unable to conceive, I am sorry but you do not know my situation and how hard it has been for us to conceive this baby. We have been trying to conceive for 6 years. We did fertility drugs and IVF which did not work apart from 1 missed miscarriage. We were devestated and didn't think we would ever have a family.
We are extremely grateful for our baby and we know that we are also very lucky and very blessed.