So.....Earlier this year I left my ex....long story....not the reason I'm here today....
I met a guy just over 4 weeks ago. We've been having sex for just over 3 weeks. Didn't use contraception because I firmly believed I was not able to have anymore kids. Had tried for over 2 years with my ex (I have 3 kids to my ex so I know that at one stage we could) and nothing. He blamed the anti-depression meds I took after I had our 3rd child. I had fallen pregnant so easily with the other 3 so figured it made sense....yes....I get it....bloody fool!
But long story short...is I'm pregnant....only just....but....it's there anyway. TBH I'm not sure how I feel. I haven't told the bf yet because a. I'm not sure how I feel....and b. It's almost 4am and he isn't here to tell!
I guess my question is...what would you all do in this situation. I know the bf always wanted more....but life only dealt him 1...I'm just not sure I'm ready to take that step again. This would be #6 for me so it is a massive decision! And I'm 39!
Thanks
Pregnant and not sure.....
Pregnant and not sure.....
Posted in:
Pregnancy
7 Replies
My similarities were that I fell pregnant in the first month of a new relationship too. However I had 2 very young children, he had none. I also had at the time a health issue that required surgery and also was in my 20s. After much consideration and talking with to my bf we decided it was our best decision to terminate. No one can tell you what is the right decision to make only tou and your bf will know what that is.
If it were me, 5 kids, 39, pregnant to someone I'd know for 4 weeks, I wouldn't have the baby....but we are all different and none of us can tell you what to do, you have to do what's in your heart. Good luck with the decision.
If I were in this position first of all I'd get some sleep (which I'm sure you've done by now, but knowing you have 5 other kids it wouldn't have been much). This is something you need to approach with a clear head.
Secondly, talk to your boyfriend, he has a right to know and you shouldn't have to deal with this alone because you didn't get this way on your own.
Thirdly, weigh up the pros and cons. Ultimately this is a decision you need to make with YOUR best interests in mind. I'd make this decision with the expectation of doing it as a single mum of 6.
Just for future reference (and I say this out of concern with absolutely no judgement), you may or may not be able to become pregnant but sexually transmitted infections do not discriminate. Sti's are at an all time high in people of your age bracket, so just something to keep in mind.
Good luck hun
You should always use protection for STI's as well just for future reference and for anyone reading this who thinks "I can't get pregnant so why use protection"
I was in a very similar situation when I was 26. Single mum to one and only dating a very short time. We decided it was in everyone’s best interest to terminate.
I’m so thankful I did, that man turned out to be the biggest emotional abuser I’ve ever met and our relationship only lasted 10 months.
Fast forward to now I’ve been in a relationship with the most amazing man in the world and we’re 7 weeks pregnant!
I don’t regret my decision and even if that relationship had of worked I still wouldn’t regret it. At the time it was hard enough being a single mum to one I didn’t want to be in that situation again with two.
Best of luck to you and your children you already have
I fell pregnant very easily to my ex 5 times within 7 years, then another 6 years of no contraception and no pregnancies. We seperated, he moved on and his new partner fell pregnant straight away, so i naturally thought it was me that had fertility issues. I had a one night stand, no protection and didnt bother with the MAP, because I had literally had unprotected sex thousands of times with the ex and no pregnancy, so my head believed that I was not a baby making machine anymore. Well turned out I was, I fell pregnant and had an abortion. I can't say thats the best thing for you to do, but if I was in your situation thats what I would be doing. Its just too soon in the relationship
Similar thing happened to me... I left a relationship, started a new one 4 weeks later. 4 weeks into it I discovered I was pregnant... 9 weeks pregnant to my ex.
I ended up getting coaxed into a termination by the new boyfriend and it is my biggest regret. Having said that, I was 21 and had no other children. I didn’t really want the termination but was talked into it, I regret letting other people tell me what to do.
Do what you want to do, not what you think is right!
I also had a second termination a few years ago... I have a child and fell pregnant again when she was about 1. The morning sickness was so bad I couldn’t look after my baby so I had a termination... I do not regret that one at all! Never even think about the second one. The first one still haunts me though.