Separation from verbally-abusive fiancé

I was with my partner for 8mnths.

He's in his 50s, a trainer for an organisation, seems jovial and patient with volunteers. But has been described as a loose canon with an explosive temper and control issues.

I'm in my 20s, with a toddler I'm solely responsible for.
He can be very compassionate, endlessly affectionate, very forgiving. I thought he was my soul-mate.

He had strange tendencies, ocd over cleanliness but the house was ramshackle. Very particular over how the bed was presented, always 'jokingly' got up me for pillow placement. I became anxious to do simple tasks like make him breakfast, or coffee, it was always not quite right. I felt like I wasn't up to his expectations, that he wanted me for what he could potentially make me into, not what i was.

My daughter wouldn't have a bar of him when she was introduced, he never had children, but was an 'expert' on child rearing and everything I did was coddling her, ruining her, teaching her disrespect, he wanted her disciplined for not acknowledging him etc.

The instances started with, I wanted him to give her a bath, he said no, but came in later demanding why she wasn't ready for a bath, I began undressing her to which she became very scared and tried to put her clothes back on. I said she can have a bath later, to which he snapped at me that she was having a f******* bath, snatched her whilst screaming and began stripping her (while still screaming). I grabbed her back and he roared at me to get the f***** out.

And that was the start of the mess, he would be good, he would be attentive and affectionate, but would then lose it over benign things. He started trying to have a say in my clothing, that he was going to bring the pretty woman out, he would ignore me in public if i didn't wear something to his standard, and it was always, 'Wearing (whatever) I wore that wasn't a dress etc. was being disrespectful to the other people that had to look at me'. But he was still loving, and affectionate.

He exploded over a comment over his attitude one night (without my daughter present), and I was a c**** sl** , anything belittling or degrading he knew I was, he threw my stuff onto the lawn and shoved me out the door as i pleaded for him to come t his senses. I called the police, and had a notation put onto his file.

He called the next day and wanted coffee, and sucked me back in. He moved to the next town for work, wanted us to come live with him, I wouldn't due to parenting pension (I'm studying), and (I didn't say) didn't want to live with him. He wanted us as dependents, but danced around the topic of salary (which i would've needed for pension purposes), I knew what his role paid, but he gave me a significantly lower figure. My daughter grew to like him and it was heart-meltingly sweet, he seemed to love her completely and was endlessly patient with her. I met his family (siblings) who flew over from the other side of the country and loved them.

I collected his mail for him, and he had piles of bills he never looked at. Rego and electricity and rates for properties elsewhere i never mentioned. I was always finding out stuff he just never spoke of. If he was in a mood and I asked what was wrong more then once he'd start swearing at me, that i was a c****, upset me to tears then apologize. I was taking the pill, but wanted something else, he didn't want me on anything else, refused to wear protection, told me he'd been with 90 women. I had an STI screening just for the sake of it.

I had a miscarriage, and got a script for an implant, he didn't want me on the implant, was so sympathetic and sad for me for losing the baby. His sibling had organised a trip to his home for xmas, my partner committed us without asking me, I didn't go to the Dr. I assumed i'd be fine until we got back. He bought me a completely not-my-style dress the day before, to present me to his brother, and an 'engagement ring' without asking me the question, just handing it to me. I also left because he told me to ***** off for not going back into town that day, and 'called' his sibling to cancel our tickets, and continued the lie until the next day when he told me he hadn't actually called anyone.

We went on holiday, it was amazing, only a few times he got up me. But was passive=aggressive (usual) if i didn't clean, or make the bed (which i did). And then we came back and I found out i was pregnant, it was upsetting to me, and he came over and blew up over being betrayed. I knew i had made a terrible mistake, but when he started the degrading me with the usual wave of name calling, then threw a glass of wine over me (my daughter was on the couch), I demanded he leave, and he said he wouldn't. So I called the police, I was beyond hurt, beyond mad, I didn't press any further then another notation.

And here we are, I am a mess, I saw the baby I'm going to terminate yesterday. He keeps calling, I blocked his mobile so he calls the landline, the first few days every time i picked up the phone I was blasted with abuse, one call was just every word was f****bag, c***t etc. I miss him terribly, and desperately want him back, he wanted me at his house on Thursday, I called and said i needed more time and was answered with a torrent of swearing. He told me I was going to be there when he finished work, or we were through. That he was 'cards up his sleeve' regarding my behaviour.
He is threatening my with a civil court action.

He told me last night he doesn't love me, but called back and said you and (my daughter), be down here this afternoon or no more chances. My Mum and brother are coming home from a long trip tonight, I told him this and asked to come down the next day, I got a "They're ****** 80yrs old they can make their own ******** dinner, you know what? Whatever'. I said thanks and hung up.

I'm in the pits of despair, I know I need to keep my daughter away from this man, but i blame myself completely, if i had gone to the Dr (I couldn't afford it at the time), it wouldn't of happened and we'd be happy. And 2018 wouldn't have been the worse year of my life. Now he is giving me ultimatums over 'do this for me or we're finished', and threatening legal actions over what I've told him a trillion times was a mistake, a stupid irresponsible mistake, and he doesn't seem to think I understand the consequences. I feel like I've lost the love of my life, and going to lose my baby, and he is too arrogant to begin understanding, all he can talk about is his reputation.