Has anyone had an abortion and really regretted it and yes I know it’s a life but it’s also a life I need to someone afford for 18yrs or more
Bit of back story have a 9yr old took 2yrs trying to fall pregnant with my now 10month old who is still fully breastfeeding and just found out expecting again other half is against it as we can’t afford it after him lossing his job and things between us havnt been good for a long time not dv but also not great
I’m just ar loss at what to do Or where to go for help my family r the type that say they r their but then when u talk about something like this it’s all about how much of a disappointment I am to even havvehad the child I do to him I feel like I can’t win and have no one to talk to
6 Replies
I don't have any advice because I can't simply fathom the idea of abortion. But maybe speaking to a counsellor about your relationship and feelings will help you make the right decision.
I know it is possible to breastfeed two children still and keep in mind that you have 9 months to adjust if you decided to continue the pregnancy which will make your 10 month old 19 months roughly.
You do however have to weigh up the options of doing it on your own if things aren't great and being prepared no matter what, ( a decision I had to make and ended up doing it on my own )
Financially things can get tough but we always make do but you have to decide what's best for you and I think it's more than just the pregnancy but the relationship too
My 2 are 14 months apart, my boy hit mile stones later, my girl hit them early. They were at the same stages alot of the time. They are now 7 and 8 years old...in some ways I think it was easier.
They share pretty much everything
Having had both big age gaps and small ones, small ones are definitely easier! You can entertain them easier and they can watch the same shows and you can take them both to a park or an indoor play area and they can both enjoy it, you can't do that with kids who have bigger age gaps. I'd keep the baby.
I’ve had an abortion.
Some days I have regret - right now I should have had a six month old baby. I think about the “what could have beens”... but big picture it was the right decision for my life at that point.
I don’t think it’s as clear cut as “just have the baby”. If you truly can’t afford it, can’t see the relationship lasting, can’t care for three kids on your own then, big picture, abortion may be an option. However, if you truly want this baby then you will make it work somehow. Don’t have an abortion if you aren’t sure. I was sure and I still have the odd regret - I can’t imagine the magnitude of regret if I really was on the fence.
Forget about everyone else and their opinions for a minute.
Think of it this way- do you want to bring another child into the world?
I don't think age gaps and finances are what you should be basing this decision off (you'll have a 18 month gap, that's certainly not impossible and finances tend to work themselves out). I'd think about it from the perspective of doing it with very little support and if you'd manage that. You say your marriage is on the rocks, both an abortion and a new baby have the potential to push it over the edge so I wouldn't let your marriage problems influence your choice either.
I can't tell you what choice to make, I always say in these situations that you need to think about your best interests above anyone else's. Make this choice for you!
I did. My partner and I seperated for six months and two weeks in I found out I was around four weeks pregnant. I made the choice to have an abortion as I was unsure where my relationship would end up and I had a six month old daughter. My daughter's one next week and as much as I sometimes wish I hadn't I still believe it was the right choice for me. I can not imagine having a one year old and being heavily pregnant.