Why me?

You feel what you feel,
It may seem a dream but it's real.
You focus on your family and your life,
You do all you do to be the perfect mother and wife.
When the motions of being young have faded,
All alone you sit, lost and jaded.
You don't fit that circle, oval or square.
Actually thinking of it, you don't fit anywhere.
You think your doing what's expected.
Sacrifice everything to make sure you and your young are protected.
You stand for your beliefs and how a human should be treated.
But in having that voice means your friends have all retreated.
You question ' what have I done to deserve this',
When was it decided that I was the choice for the abyss.
Have I not given enough energy, money or time?
Have I not given everything I held as mine?
So, slowly you sink into the deep and black,
No-one will notice until they need you, therefore want you back.
Pay attention, it might be you next,
To be forgotten to the second best.
And when the deep calls and you feel like you can't make it through,
Just remember, it was never going to be me that did that to you.
It doesn't matter though now does it,
Because at the end of the day you make sure you fit.
Lower those standard, nievety is key,
Tick all those boxes to not end up like me.
Friend of everyone, turn your head to the issues,
But never turn up when your loved one is hurt with a box of tissues.
Socialite Life, I wish I was jealous of that life,
But I'd rather see exactly who is holding the knife!
Even if it's not you and oblivious you are acting,
The death of my soul without my sister's help is happening.
Everyone needs to feel protected, loved and included,
But when did that protection mean being secluded!
I get it, I understand, really I do!
I can't fault you choosing to do the things you do!
It's easier to avoid the drama and keep the peace with those you choose to.
I am not intending to hurt or make anyone feel bad,
I just wish someone would ask if I'm ok when I feel sad.
Party here! Birthday there.
Am I welcome, not anywhere!
I hope with everything I have that your heart stays safe and sound,
And that at the end of the day your relationships are bound.
I hope beyond hope you don't end up like me,
The intermediary for friendship, a part of which I wish I could be.

(Please forgive if not grammatical correct, I'm doing my best with a very personally emotional situation, and I'm hoping that I can share my poetic account with others so that they know they aren't alone)