I'm not sure what my exact question is but please bare with me:
I have a problem with my husband of almost 3yrs, partner of 8yrs. 2 weeks before Christmas I noticed a change in him, he became less affectionate, quite argumentative, intolerant of everything, very critical and easily frustrated, and rude and nasty. All of this is directed towards me, no one else. Although he rarely feeds our 20mo daughter anymore because he just cannot handle the mess she creates, how slow she is and he loses his cool.
I thought it was me being sensitive or hormonal but after 6 weeks of noticing it I don't think the issue lays with me at all.
Its at the point where there is no affection whatsoever in our relationship (nor is there likely to be with the way he's treating me). We barely talk because I'm sick of being berated and spoken down to. And if I were honest with you I'd say that I try not to be home when he is because I'm just so sick of him.
Now, he's not always like this i'd say about half the time he is his normal self although everyday there is some nastiness directed at me so its not as though there are good days and bad days.
I do love him and would do anything for him but am wondering how do I communicate with someone who cannot be reasoned with and in some cases see sense? I'm actually starting to wonder if perhaps he has a mental health issue...
So IMs I'd really appreciate any advice you may have on this because I'm stumped!
4 Replies
Myhusband has been yelling at me a lot lately, and I HATE it. There is simply no reason for it.
I spoke to him about it and he apologised and said that it's not me, I've done nothing wrong, he's just frustrated (he's out of work and after 2 years of being out of work, we are running out of savings and it's starting to get desperate)
So there could be something bothering your husband and he's taking it out on you. He might be doing something wrong himself, and getting angry at you. (hubby was playing WoW and would yell at me every time I suggested he look for work, he knew i was right, but was frustrated)
There will be a reason, just finding it is the problem, just talk to him?
You need to chat to him
My husband always gets like that around Christmas time. He is a manager in a supermarket so it is the worst time of year for him not only because of how busy it is but also because it seems everyone else is having time off except him. He was also a number of years diagnosed with depression and although he copes well the majority of the time and doesn't shows signs it is these high pressure times that I can see it creeping back. Is there something at work that has been bothering him? Or maybe underlying issues. Although it might be hard you need to try and talk to him when he is in his good mood to see if there is anything the two of you can do together to get through this. Good luck xx
My hubby gets like this around Xmas and birthdays. We had dramas with his family and once it was all sorted ( not peacefully, but cutting them off was the best option) I thought all was going well and up came Xmas, he had one panic attack (not knowing what it was) all was calm then I had lost 18kgs in 6 months,was just starting to tone up, and got some great opportunities with work (I work with kids so it had nothing to do with my appearance) the second panick attack happened. I thought then it maybe a good idea to chat to him, he agreed to talk to a doctor about his moods and was put on anti anxiety tablets. Best thing ever.
We also have a 3 and a 4year old. I think it all just got too much, and he can be very nasty aswell.
Good luck! I hope you find your happy place!!