Sooo i asked my sister in law to be my bridesmaid for my wedding some time ago. She said yes and showed interested in the wedding maybe once or twice early on... but throughout this planning process she has showed no interest at all.. in fact she shows no interest in me in all. I made the mistake of taking the step in asking her in hope it would bring us together. Now i am sick of it and realize I am flogging a dead horse here and I need to tell her that i am not comfortable with her being a bridesmaid as she shows little interest in our lives. How shall I go about this? Email? Call? I know it will cause a huge roar even though clearly she doesnt want to be in the wedding but my husband to be and I feel that its the right decision.
Telling my sister in law shes no longer a bridesmaid
Telling my sister in law shes no longer a bridesmaid
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Sisterhood Stories, Behaviour
7 Replies
Personally this one id just suck up. is it worth a family dispute? if you are going to dump her, then your partner needs to talk to her first, maybe he could just ask her of she really wants to be bridesmaid. She might be glad to be let off the hook. I would keep yourself totally out of it, it should come from him.
lol yea my partner and her hate each other shes married to his brther....
I think also some people might have differing ideas and expectations on what being a bridesmaid entails. Some are really into it and others sit back. Is it possible you and her just have differing opinions on her role?
Just message and say change of plans with wedding party and unfortunately she's no longer bridesmaid. You could say you're only having your best friend etc.
Apologise saying you shouldn't have asked her before and thank her for being willing to take.on the role. Hopefully that keeps it Ok. She probably really doesn't care anyway.
I am a bridemaid too and give the bride space to make her own choices. I dont want to feel like I am taking over I let her ask when she needs something. And always offer my support. But I think you no well and truely in your gut and if you have decided not to have her then just let her no. That you have too many bridesmaid and you need to cut back!? Depends on how much of a confrentation really. I am quiet so avoid it at all costs. Goodluck
Review your expectations, what exactly do you want her to do/say that she isn't? I'm only asking, because a friend of mine recently married and she constantly complained about two of her bridesmaids and how they weren't 'into' it like they should be, even though they went along to fittings, bridal shower, hens night, etc etc.. even paid for their makeup and hair and I'm not exactly sure when she wanted them to do. Weekly emails? Constant phone calls? I've never been a bridesmaid, so I have no idea what you're supposed to do either and if I were asked, I would only probably do what was required. My friend thinks it's an "honour' to be bridesmaid. It's simply a very, very different perspective. Which you may have with her. Unfortunately, you asked her. So I think you now need to stick it out or you are going to look like the bad guy.
This happened to me, and I really want to ask you to really think about it before you make any moves.
My SIL asked me to be her MOH...I was helping her plan...all I heard from my family and brother is she was overwhelmed and didn't want pressure of planning so I stepped back to not pressure her, she took it as I wasn't interested and dropped me and my husband (who was best man). We didn't speak for 8months and it has caused friction between families. Speak to her and try to work it out...