I feel I need to let this out or I'll go crazy.
I'm 28 & I'm a mum to 3 kids, I'm married to a wonderful man & I (for the most part) have a very supportive family. I'm really lucky & am thankful every day for this.
My problem is that I'm desperately lonely. I have very very few friends. The friends I have don't have kids & since I had my kids, I'm lucky to see them more than once a year. I had a great mothers group with my first child & then moved away & I'm no where near them now. I have tried play groups but none have ever felt right. I've tried meeting other mums through Facebook groups or my kids schools etc, I get a few steps ahead & then go crashing backwards again.
I just want a friend who gets what it's like to be a mum, to just drop over for coffee, to meet up on the days one or both of us are having a crappy day. To let our kids play & our partners to get along.
I try & try but between all 3 kids & running a house & going to countless appointments for one of my children who has special needs, I'm just getting nowhere. I'm excluded from things other mums organise because they don't know me well enough, which is fair enough, but it just feels like I'm never going to find someone who actually wants to be my friend. It's hard watching my husband just be able to text his mates & tell them to stop by & never be able to do the same. Not because I'm not welcome to but because I have nobody to ask.
Where do you find friends at this age? How do you deal with the feelings of loneliness? I feel so stupid even feeling so sad about it when there are FAR more important things in the world. But it does feel like there's a big hole there & I don't know what to do. Is there something wrong with me? Why does it seem like everyone else has at least someone to call on? I feel like a sooky little high school girl right now but I needed to let it out. Loneliness is real.
I have no idea what I'm trying to gain from writing this. But I guess if anyone is reading this & feels the same, then we're not alone after all.
7 Replies
I could have written the exact same thing. I did have friends but just too busy to spend time with them always working.
I am exactly the same. Where are you located i would be happy to be friends depending on where you are
I've made some of my closest friends through fb mothers group meet ups in my town. It was totally out of my comfort zone and i really had to talk myself into going but I'm so glad i did. Just keep trying. Don't right off the idea off meeting new friends this way, it may take meeting a few different mothers groups before you find the right one.
Building that kind of rapport can take a long time. Plus you have to remember most mums with kids are also busy with appointments and extra curricular activities. So popping round last minute for play dates at the last minute might be unrealistic.
I met my support network in a Facebook group related to my sons disability. We even go I holidays together, despite living in different states! But most of our interactions occur on line. The mums in the same state catch up for coffee mornings as a group once in a blue moon.
None of that happened instantly it happened over a period of years.
Do your husband's friends have wives and kids? Maybe ask them around for a family BBQ or meet in a park. I found the sports groups my kids participated in were great for meeting like-minded mums and we had an hour each practice to gossip while the kids played the sport. It did take time but an hour a week is s good start. 20 years later and we are still friends even though the kids have moved on ... Good luck.
Hello, without trying to steal your thunder, I feel exactly the same way. I'm not sure where you are but feel free to add me on Facebook. I didn't tick the anonymous box so hopefully my name will come up so you know my name.
Sweetheart if you are a low maintenance person who won't get upset if we can't hang out 24/7 I'm more than Happy to be a friend. I know how you feel! Please pm me xxxx