So I recently read an article with that title and it made me wonder; did I settle for Mr. Good Enough?
I met Mr. Right in my late 20s. I have never loved anyone more than I loved him. For various reasons, it didn't work out. Right person, wrong time. The relationship collapsed to the point of no return.
Years later, I have met a man who loves me without a doubt. He accepts my past and my faults. He loves my two children. They love him. We both have good jobs (we work together). We click everywhere except in the bedroom, he has no sex drive, I have too much.
As a result of 12 months of being unsatisfied, I have found myself not attracted to my partner sexually*. Something is missing in our relationship.
And so I wonder, did I settle for Mr Good Enough? And if I did, is that okay?
* Is sex that important? Personally, I think it is. To me, it's an expression of intimacy. Feeling wanted and loved is amazing. Being turned down night after night takes its toll. And I have tried everything there. It's just who he is.
6 Replies
Sex is a huge thing for me. And I have found myself in the same position as you. Like what man doesn't want sex everyday.
No advice but your not alone.
Don't settle i did and I'm miserable i hate my life where it is and where its going
I was going to settle... But I couldn't. After being divorced and alone I thought it'd be ok to settle but I was wrong.
Try opening the marriage.
If the love and communications is strong it can and does work.
See a sex therapist.
Intimacy is super important, kissing and touching but sex is a bonus.
I have a higher sex drive (we have sex 2-3 times a week) but I use dildos every other day and my husband helps if he is home. I have not a single doubt that my beautiful husband is the one.
Some men spank it every morning - I see no difference.
As someone eith a low libido nothing turns me off more then being asked every day or having the expectation there. Ive gotten to the point where I dont even enjoy cuddling my hsuband some morning because I dont want the expectation and I dont want to turn him down. I just want to cuddle! As hard as it is id remove the expectation from your partner. Work back up to sex. Focus on intimacy in kissing, touching, words ect and his libido might rise. The cobstant feeling that someone expects or needs sex from you when you dont share that is SO draining. Remove the expectation and build back up
on the subject of "mr right" I dont believe he exists. I believe so many marriages and relationships end today because we are SO fixated on "mr right". People arent married for 50 + years because they are with the "right" person, they are married that long because they choose to be and because they persevere. Because no matter how "right" someone is, they can never remain "right" for that long. You simply cant stay absolutely madly infatuated and b in love with someone for that amiunt of time. And thats the truth. Relationships are about more then that and life long relationships about so much more. Love ebbs and flows, it isnt constant. The same with ludt and libido, it rises and falls. He has a low libidio now but probably wont forever, just like you wont always have a high libido. So it isnt settling, its choosing and its commitment and its preparing to tough out the loveless abd thankless moments