Hi IM's.
I need your help, desperately. I'm sitting in my hallway, shaking, crying and with a bowl to catch the vomit. I'm so stressed out by my kids. They don't listen to me. At all. We have a routine, we don't eat sugary foods, we do sports, we do activities. We socialise. Or try too.
What do I do? I ask my kids 'please keep your voices down, the neighbours complained again' and I get 'yes mum' 2 minutes later, they are screaming their heads off again. "Please put your dirty socks in the laundry" is met with "why should I? I don't have to at dads house". What do I do? What do I do with kids that constantly talk back to me? That question every little thing i say and do? With a toddler who has a tantrum at the drop of a hat- over nothing. Literally. With a 6 year old who can't stop talking back, doesn't even realise he's doing it. With a pre teen who talks down to me, who beats up on his siblings because he can, because his dad says he can?! I've tried yelling at them. It's like I'm locked in a soundproof room yelling at nothing. No one notices, no one cares. I've tried taking away their toys, they just don't give a shit, the ones at dads are better anyway. I've taken away tv time, this results in screaming at the top of their lungs. I put them in a seperate corner for time out, the theory is, she can't make us all stay here, I'll just get up and walk away, or I'll just bite and kick and scream. I've even tried smacking them. I hate it, I feel like the worst mother in the world. I'm always scared to smack them because then they'll go to dads and tell him and he'll report it as abuse. Please please tell me what to do?! They have no discipline at dads house, it's all fun there. He won't co parent- he's not interested in my rules. His house his time his rules he says. I'm seeing someone, he's amazing, he's known them their entire lives, he is sweet and kind and fair on them, he does things for them, he actually goes above and beyond, and they don't listen to him either. He is frustrated because I'm stressed and upset. Please IM's. Help Me! Tell me how to make them listen, how to get them happy and laughing like normal kids. I'm drowning
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
5 Replies
Have you done any parenting courses like tripleP?
Otherwise a child psychologist can help you with strategies
PPP parenting program is awesome! It's not some court mandated punishment for shit parents, it's all about learning new strategies and picking battles etc.
It sounds like their dad is parenting very differently to you and the kids are playing this to their advantage. Remember they need and want boundaries. Be strong. Make sure there are consequences for bad behaviour. You really need someone in your corner to support you, your new partner? You all might need to talk to someone. School councilors? Family psychologist? Stay strong and good on you for reaching out.
I feel for you xx All I can suggest is either, put your foot down and don't give in, or leave them with dad until it's no longer fun... I yell, A LOT! I hate it, but it gets me heard... I find if I tell my kids to do something with the promise of something fun after, it gets done... But, we don't get the fun stuff til we've done the boring stuff... See a counsellor for yourself, and give yourself a break mama, you're doing a great job...
Positiveparentingsolutions.com works so well for me i had same problem.