Please ask anonymously!
I am 12ish weeks with bubs #3. It wasn't 100% accident but it also wasn't 100% planned. DH isn't overly ecstatic but I know when bubs comes his heart will melt. I'm excited but also nervous, but it's been a crazy few months where we haven't had time together to sit & think about the next 6 months.
My question: why am I so nervous/ anxious to tell anyone? With my first 2(who will be 9 &7 when bubs is born) I couldn't wait to tell everyone! Is it the age gap? Is it coz we weren't 'trying' ? Is it coz I'm scared, after 2 healthy babies & easy-ish pregnancies, that there will be something wrong with bubs? I just want to creep back in my hidey hole for another few months when I know I will be excited & ready to tell everyone. Has anyone felt like this before? What did you do?
3 Replies
I had my third child 2 months ago. I never really got "into" the pregnancy. I wasn't excited to tell anyone or do any baby preparation. It was an unplanned pregnancy as my partner was supposed to be infertile (different father). My pregnancy flew by in a dream of horrible morning sickness and exhaustion. Come time for baby to be born I was worried I was unprepared mentally. I had bub in a rushed 20min labour at home accidentally.
I am sharing all this because I was right. I was not mentally prepared to have a third child when I thought I was done. I have horrible postnatal depression and feel shit. I love my baby so so much but wish I could run away and I cry a lot.
Anyways if you are feeling detached it might be worth talking to someone now in case things get worse after bub is born. Look after yourself and good luck
With my 3rd pregnancy hubby and myself where excited and he was planned but everyone else was not excited we didn't get many visitors to meet the new baby. It was just our little family it didn't really bother me as we don't get many visitors either
I found out I was expecting my 3rd when my 2 older kids were 2 years old and 6 months old (and only being 20 years old myself), so needless to say I wasn't exactly psyched to tell anyone, more out of fear of judgment really. If I learned anything in that time it's that you are not obliged to tell anyone until you're ready! I actually think there's more pressure on mums to be these days to make a huge and creative announcement, do the whole gender reveal, keep people updated about the pregnancy etc due to social media, it's become sort of expected and it probably has something to do with your feelings as well.