My friend is expecting her first baby.
My friend is due for her first bub in June this year.
I was recently contacted by someone who is known to the babys father.
They said they are concerned for mum to be and unborn bub as the father was convicted of sexually molesting 2 of his older daughters 10+ years ago.
Now, this is just hearsay at the moment as i have not received any proof.
My question is, would you try and gather more information from said person before going straight to my friend and inform her or just go straight?
I know they are very big accusations and not to be taken lightly but i just want to becareful as if this person is making up lies, i could be ruining a family
5 Replies
I'd get proof first
Nope tellher but also tell her that although its just hearsay she really needs to follow it up and youre in the process of doing so. Youll probably find if she is one to bury her head she will do so no matter what you say, whereas if shes not then she needs to know now.
This is a tough position for you, on one hand this information may be a complete fabrication by someone extremely vindictive and you day yourself it's pure heresay at the moment but on the other you don't want to arbitrarily dismiss it either because you never know...
Either way, you need to tread very carefully here, you don't want to go in guns blazing and destroy your friends relationship over something that may not even be true. This also has the potential to hurt many people if you go about it the wrong way (his daughters, your friend, the unborn baby and even him if he's innocent).
If you're really concerned you should make a report to the police or child services, it's really not your job to play detective and find proof. Tell the appropriate service every thing you've mentioned here, they will then investigate as they see fit and take the necessary action. If he was infact convicted of molesting his daughters he would be on the sex offender register or at least this information would be on his criminal record.
If nothing comes of it, then you know it was probably bullshit. If action is taken, well that speaks for itself and I imagine your friend will need your support but either way you'll know you did the right thing!
Google his name
Don't say anything to her directly. Contact Bravehearts and explain what has happened. Also tell the person who told you to report it if it hasn't been reported. Bravehearts can help by getting in touch with her and him and keeping an eye on things. If he has been convicted they will be able to find out and help her. They can also tell you what you should do.