I lost my best friend to suicide just over 12 months ago.
I know I’m still grieving, my work has been brilliant and helped me with grief counseling, I know everyone grieves differently and I may never get over loosing her.
I’m getting married soon to my rock, but recently I’ve found I’m in tears whenever the wedding is mentioned as how can I do it without my best friend standing by my side? Her children are in my wedding party, but it’s not her and I’m struggling
3 Replies
Everyone grieves differently and it will change in time. The first year is very raw.
This is a great opportunity to show her kids that it is ok to celebrate and have life events without her presence. Think of her kids. They and you will miss her terribly at these times, but she would not want any of you to be sad and not enjoy them.
Think of a nice way to honour her, maybe include the kids, include a photo or symbol of her as the something borrowed or something blue?
I’m so sorry for your loss.
I think this is one of those times when you need to reframe your thinking. Yes, you miss your friend, are grieving and probably a bunch of other emotions too. But what’s the option? Are you not going to get married because of your friend? Would your friend want you to not enjoy your wedding day? Of course there will be times when you are sad, because you imagined doing certain things with your friend. I think it’s normal to have some sadness. But your friend would want you to be happy and enjoy your day, and of course you want to marry your rock. Allow your self some time each day to be sad/grieve/journal your feelings, what ever works for you. But then when that 1/2 hour is up allow yourself to have fun and enjoy yourself.
Of course there are going to still be moments, but make your wedding about love, the future and a celebration of what’s to come.
As someone who has been bereaved by suicide, I completely understand that you feel as though you're missing an important part of your new milestones.
I lost my partner to suicide so I don't know how to get through your wedding, but our son and I usually include his daddy in everything we need him to be a part of.
Would it be possible to borrow some of her jewellery for the day? Or a keepsake that you can keep with you all day? Love that you have her children involved in your day.
Little things like that help me on special occasions
I wish you all of the very best for your day.