Hi IM’s
I need help, I’m grateful at this time in my life for not ever having someone’s close to me passed away.
Unfortunately we have just found out my 14 year son’s father has passed away suddenly. He has been estranged and not apart of his life for almost 10 years but I can see and understand that he is absolutely devastated. The problem is I don’t know what to do? How do I help him, how do I get him to talk? I’m just not sure how to help him on this grieving process.
Can anyone help and provide me guidance?
3 Replies
I'm sorry to hear of the loss.
I can understand he would be upset, he is most likely grieving the fact that he never got to and now never will have a relationship with him.
I'd ask him if he'd like to attend the funeral and if he does, offer to go along with him. I'd also ensure he understands that it wasn't his (your son's) fault that they didn't have a relationship and it was something the dad had chosen himself (if that is true). Maybe you could remind him of the reasons you originally really liked him and chose to have a child with him and focus on the positives.
As you havent experienced it, I would advise you that it is devastating and for a long time, and that being estranged doesnt change anything so dont discount his grief in any way, hes still lost his dad.
Poor kid. He probably feels grief, regret and possibly guilt... Misplaced or otherwise. I suggest telling him you don't know how to support him and asking him what he wants/needs from you. He might not have an answer but he'll know the lines of communication are open for when /if he does.