My daughter just turned 3. Shes never meet her dad. His a pig. He meet a girl when I was pregnant. His still with this girl. I've been okay with it. But lately I've been struggling with her. Its looking like she has sensory processing disorder. Shes seeing specialists. She's very hyped too. I'm so exhausted.
But the last few weeks his taken his now 21 year old girl friend over seas for her birthday and their anniversary. Goes away for her birthday but can't see his daughter on hers.
He was with her for ages but he waited to my daughters birth date before announcing it to every one and Facebook so he was in the clear I guess. Didn't look like a dick. She still doesn't know my daughter is his too. I bumped into her around Easter and she started to talk to me. Asking about my daughter. I didn't give her much just walked off really. I mean why would she believe he has a child to me when she doesn't believe the ring she is wearing wasn't a Christmas present to her it was my engagement ring!
But lately it's eating me up. I don't know why. But it is.
They are traveling. Something he always promised me. And I'm stuck living back with my mum. Scrapping for money. And trying to sleep when ever I can. I feel with her sensory problems I've had a baby for the 3 years!
I know I shouldn't but I hate his having the time of his life and not wanting a thing to do with his child and I'm struggling and his not giving two f***s.
Its eating me up.
Baby dad having the time of his life.
Baby dad having the time of his life.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care, Loss & Grief, Sisterhood Stories
6 Replies
If your now 3 year old has no contact with him or hasn’t met him, why are you still following him to find out such information? Why not just cut him from your life? I’m sorry, but by getting so involved with his movements is probably making yourself down. It’s a simple fix.
It's jealousy- because the two of you made a baby but youre doing ALL the work and struggling.
Try not to compare. Let him go and forget any expectation on him. He's trash. You wouldn't live like him because youre not trash. You're a parent.
I also have a child with sensory issues. Yes it's extra hard, but you will get there. A few more years and she will be more independent, able to cope and help herself manage, will even be having sleepovers and you will be able to be yourself again and smash those dreams. And you'll also be a kickass mum doing an awesome job.
To be very very, if hes completely not involved, that's best for you. Having to deal with him and interact and trust them to care for your child and watch him put himself over her would be a lot harder.
Right now you can and should block them both from your life and thoughts.
I take it you know his girlfriend, how does she not know you 2 were in a relationship together? Were you just having a fling that nobody knew about? Does he pay child support? If no I would get onto that, your child is going to need a lot of support now and if he's not gelping out physically then he can cough up financially. Lastly, block them all on social media. Don't ask anyone about what they are up to, nothing. It will end up driving you insane. Concentrate on your energy on your daughter.
Claim child support
I feel you.
I have 4 kids. 3 with anxiety. 2 possibly on the very low end of the autism spectrum, both with sensory issues, one with ADHD. And the final one with learning difficulties.
They all have different medical needs (eczema, asthma, allergies). 3 wear glasses, one will in the future.
I also started working full time a year ago. I’m flipping exhausted!
I receive no financial help (owed 26k in child support) & haven’t heard from him in over a year. It used to only be birthdays, now nothing.
I get angry. I get frustrated. I get hurt. For me & the support I SHOULD have, for our kids & the father they should have.
BUT! 1, he’s a piece of shit. He was abusive. My kids deserve better. So do I. I know that.
2, what kind of person ditches their kids? I think of being that person & that makes me sick to my stomach. Not only abandoning my responsibilities, but abandoning my children. How much would that hurt them?
3, His life ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Trust me. What happens when she falls pregnant? Well, I’ve seen that too. He now has another ex I thought had it all. He now has another child with limited contact.
I own my house. I just bought a car. I’ve travelled overseas (to Bali, but whatever!). I pay my bills. I work my arse off to give us a great life.
He has nothing. Except debt. While I still wish I’d chosen someone different, someone I could build a life & family with, I don’t need it. I’ve built the perfect fucking life all by myself! And damn I’m proud! I hold no jealousy. Not even for the freedom I thought he had. Mine are older now. My youngest is 8. It took 7 years to get here, but I’ve been there. I’ve seen all the lows. I’m in the middle of one of my biggest lows right now (thousands of $ of car issues low), but I will do my best to never give him that much time, hurt & energy again.
It’s hard now. So damn hard! But it will get better. Guarantee it!
It’s called grief. Go see a counselor. Block them in socials so you’re not tempted to see the so called good life he’s living. PS it’s all lies. He’s still the same person, he’s just putting on a show for the new GF, it won’t last. It can’t.
I’d give the gf a little warning. It as simple as saying, in a calm matter of fact way “you know she’s ex’s daughter right? He left us for you. Just be careful ok?!” Smile, then walk off. Then you can feel better knowing that at least you warned her. What she chooses to believe is on her