Not attracted to my husband anymore ........falling out of love ...

Hi guys I find my self in a big of a pickle ,I am feeling more and more unattached and un attracted to my husband been together for 8 years , we have children together
But my problem lies with his ways of he does not have a nice heart , he seems to be very unkind to words anyone and very emotionally detached to anyone having any life problems apart from his family , like my family has recently lost a very close loved one (mother) he does seem sympathetic when it happened but every time I'd try to talk to him about how I feel and what I'm feeling and just needing a sholder to cry and lean on he would change the subject to something about him self ,or any little thing going on in his family's side . It's like he has no time for me , it's so hard to explain as there is so much more like, his just hard hearted and cold with everything even towards my family like my dad is not copping or handling the loss of his wife at all and wanting to take his own life , and stop drinking so much piss , but i tried to explain its been his way of copping , and all he could say is well if someone wanted to take there life they would just do it , but if that was someone in his family it would be a mush mush bigger deal , but it with everything his unkindness, as I have a big heart and I am very emotional person like I don't ppl hurting ppl by nasty comments or cruelty to animals/humans like I really feel other ppls pain and emotions, and my husband is the opposite and he wasn't always like this it's like he put on an act for the first few year then just the real him slowly come out like he wakes up so negative every morning always angry or winging about something , the anout of arguments we have of him being racist words (which I'm finding very hard to cope with) I'm falling out of love and my respect for him has completely gone , I don't want him touching me I cringe everytime he comes in for a kiss I Just HATE THE PERSON HE HAS BECOME ....... and yes I have tried so many times to talk to him over but he just doesn't listen to what I have to say to takes in the way I feel he takes it as an attack and tells me I have to change and stop talking to him like I do the kids , and it just turns into a massive blow up , and then he starts calling me names and tries to say it's me , and just blames me for everything and it's doing my head in , and I have lost who I once was, I'm not the happy bubbly person I use to be I've become depressed , I can't leave him as he said he won't let me or he will take the kids and go plus scull fuck my head to the ground , also been called a fat push pig and he kicked us out of the house a few months ago with the kids had to stay at a hotel for a while, and the kids didn't cope with the separation so I went back to try again for the kids but I'm just not feeling it , I'm really not and it's not easy for me to just pack up move out as I have no family here and I don't have the support that most ppls do, I don't have friends beacuse they didn't like him and slowly they stoped coming around, they to got sick of the negativity he brings out most of the time . Plus I have next to nothing money wise ? Can't afford rent on my own I do work but don't make enough to cover my bills I struggle now .... and no have have none to move in with me to share the bill load... I'm stuck ...... and I don't want this to be all my life is going to be ..... 😔