Hi I'm really hurt
And need answers
About something..
If you had a friend that you have known for two years
And you recently found out they had been lieing to you about
Working
How would you go about asking them if it's true without the person who told me getting in trouble
This has really upset me
Because I am completely upfront and honest with this person and they are not
I
How do I confront a friend
Thursday, 23 July 2020 - 10:57
How do I confront a friend
Posted in:
Sisterhood Stories
14 Replies
You realise your not anonymous right?
Why would they need to lie about working?
What has it honestly got to do with you whether they are working or not? Why has this personally offended you?
Maybe you are too demanding of people close to you and they feel they need to lie to keep you from nagging them.
Not condoning the lying but I do know one of the reasons why people lie is because they are trying to avoid conflict or confrontation.
So maybe you need to take a look at your expectations of people close to you, nobody owes you an explanation for the way they live their life.
This is a joke right? Get over yourself!
Nobody tells the truth 100% of the time. We all tell white lies, exaggerate or under state things at times. Of course some people take it to extremes and that’s not ok.
How does her work directly effect you? If it doesn’t then big deal. Unless you are planning on co-mingling finances with this person, what’s the issue?
What specifically about work have they lied about that really affects you?
The only way this logically makes sense to me is if this person has used work as an excuse to not hang out with you. If that's the case, I wouldn't interrogate my friend over a white lie like that because:
A. I may have been too pushy or they may just not feel comfortable enough to be upfront and say they aren't interested in hanging out.
Or
B. They might be working through some shit in their own life that i am completely unaware of.
Side note:
The person who told you this information about the "lying" friend, what's their motivation behind telling you this? Is it even true?
Because to me, it reeks of trouble making, high school bullshit...
I wouldn’t waste anytime thinking on it. You either accept the lie or you distance yourself
What do you hope to gain by confronting them? Is there a reason they may have lied about their job? Or are they lying about work for financial gain? :)
Is it really important to know that she or he does work?
It really isn't important. Unless she's doing drugs or dealing or involved in criminal activity... what she does on her time isn't apart of your life and she doesn't have to share her whole life with you.
I mean, you've heard a rumor and it's upsetting you because you've been friends 2 years? Exclusively?? She's not cheating on you, she has a job. She just doesn't want you to have access to all her life and you probably should respect her boundaries.
It's none of your business 🤷♀️ why does it matter what this person does? You are not their family or spouse 🤷♀️
I hate it when people lie to me. I would distance myself from them as if they
lie about that then they would lie about other things. If they are not open and honest about things and you feel deeply about it then back off from them
It depends on the context here.
Are they claiming to be working but are actually unemployed? If so, maybe they’re embarrassed or find it more relatable 🤷♀️
Are they saying they’re working to avoid catching up? If so, I have absolutely been guilty of this 🤭 not because I’ve not wanted to see my friend or family but it’s been an easier out then saying- “I’m exhausted and can’t fathom the thought of leaving my house today”
We do a lot in the name of not offending the people we hold dear
maybe they just don’t want to hang out with you maybe they think your to pushy or something maybe it’s time to move on
I was best friends with a girl who lied about being a nurse. One day I checked up on APHRA and turns out she was never a nurse it was all complete lies. After putting up with the lies and constant negative ways I have ut the friendship and its kills me i still absolutely love her like my sister and want to share my news with her but its not worth the hurt and heartache. People who constantly lie are not friends or they have mental issues and need medical intervention. Personally I feel bring it up with them and if it causes a argument then cut ties. GOOD LUCK
She probably tells you she works so she doesn’t have to look after your kids.? I’m sure she has good reasons 🤣