Have you ever been so sad that when you cry you can feel your heart break! That’s me a lot now. Everyone around me seems to be succeeding at life and my life seems to be going further and further down hill. All my friends and family are getting married and buying houses and getting great jobs and they’re kids are all doing so well at school and everything.
I can’t get a job, always struggling with money, my shoe box house is always a mess (but I’m cleaning every day), can’t buy a house as we can’t afford it nor can we afford a wedding, I’m so embarrassed about our scabby furniture, my partner works full time but is as LAZY as f*ck at home and as useless as sh*t and our 2 kids couldn’t give a crap about me or anything else. And I’m overweight but can’t seem to lose any.......the list goes on.
How can I get my life on track? No one cares about anything that comes out of my mouth so I can’t talk to anyone, just sit and listen and say “wow, that is great, you guys are doing so well”. Then cry my eyes out when I’m alone. I don’t know, I’m just so down about life right now.
Everyone else is succeeding and I’m a failure
Everyone else is succeeding and I’m a failure
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Self Care, Sisterhood Stories, Health & Wellbeing
18 Replies
You know why those people are doing well?
They’re proactive, they’re making it happen.
Those good jobs they’re getting, started out with shitty jobs.
That house deposit, was saved, sacrifices were made.
Those well behaved kids, weren’t and aren’t always that way.
But they’re consistent, it tiring, but they do it.
People see success as an over night thing, it isn’t.
You aren’t a passenger in your life, you’re in the drivers seat, you have to make things happen.
They haven’t had good luck, they’ve planned well, made good decisions and worked their arse off.
It’s your life, you only get one and it’s never too late to make plans and have dreams.
The rest is up to you.
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!
We work our absolute asses off. My husband works two jobs to bring in extra $$ and I work full time. We sacrifice. We work as a team. Together. I work hard at my job and at home and same with my husband. We both started off in shitty, shitty jobs, on minimum wage. My husband is first generation Aussie and I came here as a teen. My family came here literally with nothing and lived in a shoebox.
I'm proud how great our kids are. Not perfect, but shit, we work as a team. But that is years and years of support, love, boundaries and discipline. My 3yo helps to clean the house. Unloads the dishwasher and puts away groceries. He sees us do it and he just copies.
I've gained a LOT of weight due to medical reasons but in the last 6 weeks have begun the hard work to lose it. Nothing is easy. Nothing is free. I'm doing this for myself and for my children, not to mention, my husband.
You are the captain of your life. Take little steps every single day. It's gets too much, but break things down into little jobs. You can do this!!! You are a strong woman. YOU'VE GOT THIS!!!! You can buy a house, speak to brokers. Get Proper financial advice- heaps of community financial services out there. This is your life. Go get'em.
So I'm the person you just described. But.... My kids aren't always well behaved. People think they are because they ask to be excused from the table etc.... but last week my ASD so tried to choke a kid at school over something stupid because his capacity to regulate his emotions went haywire. His aggression as a response to anxiety t's extremely frequent but most people don't see it and I usually don't talk about it outside of school, hubby, pediatrician and psychologist. And yes, we bought a house before kids.... but my little bro just bought every adult toy imaginable (jet skis, giant boat with 3 bedrooms and a bathroom... you name it) and owns 5 houses. The one he lives in is on the water and was 2.5 million. How? Just wife's inheritance. She doesn't work and although he has an awesome, high paying professional job, he's been on leave for anxiety more than he's worked for the past 3 years. My best friend is university educated and works her butt off and just can't get ahead. You've made assumptions about the OP that could be completely baseless and just further the downward spiral she's in....
No, I'm trying to motivate this person to stop comparing yourself to other and do it. Life is always greener on the other side. And I emphasized teamwork. There would be NO WAY IN HELL I could do this on my own. She is stretched beyond her limit but she needs her husband to support her. This is a team effort.
Wasn't replying to your comment. Was replying to the original comment.
Shes busting her ass and not getting the paycheck and reward and perks we are. Motivation makes it sound like she just needs to try harder. She doesnt. She needs help to work differently.
I do it alone. Partners should make things better, but some make it impossible.
I’m alone too, I’m the original commenter.
You don’t need a partner to make life happen.
Ive been where you are. And im the type of person i never thought would be there so I had that extra kick in the guts too.
I absolutely disagree that people that work hard have it good and people that dont suffer. Its way more complex. I bet youre mentally and physically exhausted daily, just trying to stay afloat. So be gentle on yourself. From experience there is usually a reason, something causing the stress or hardship in your life and the inability to break out. Can you pinpoint what it is? Why are you financially struggling, why are you time poor? Do you have support?
Your husband sounds like a stress, but overall is your relationship a good thing or something on the shit list.
Secondly, things happen in baby steps. Make a list, and do something each week. Even if its small goals. Research an exercise you want to start.
Thirdly, when you are happy again, you wont care about all these other people. They all have their own issues. Its your stress/anxiety/depression thats making you feel way out of sync with regular humans. Definitely time to seek a professional. They can help you sort through all of this.
Go to gp for some antidepressants and a psychologist for help. You sound very depressed
Work out from your list the priorities you want.
1. Lose weight
2. New rental
3. Etc etc
Then start working at those goals. I mean REALLY working. Going to the gym, getting a personal trainer, sticking to a calorie deficit etc etc.
Nothing worth having comes easily.
Sacrifices get made.
Choices get made.
I’m a single mum, I have weight to lose, I have a house I want to buy.
I’ve lost 5 kilos (15 to go)
I’ve saved 45k (15k to go)
I’ve worked more hours this year then any other year. I’ve been more exhausted then I’ve ever felt in my life. Is it worth it ? ABSOLUTELY!!
Get your lost started and start working on how to achieve each thing. Start today.
Write your list - have a plan and start.
If you feel you’re overweight, I’d think about starting there. I feel that if you are happier within yourself, you’ll feel happier and more confident in general! Reward yourself once you achieve your goal, and you’ll feel even better again. You may feel that these other things aren’t really as bad as you think, aren’t as non-achievable as you think. Sounds like you need to have a serious chat with your husband too about supporting you more. You can do this! You just need to start somewhere! Good luck girl!
I get it.
Life is definitely harder for some. A little bit of luck, knowing the right people and a partner who is on the same page makes all the difference.
It wouldn’t matter how hard I worked I will never own a house, because that’s how life turned out for me. You know what, that’s ok. It’s not because I didn’t work hard, it’s cause I got dealt a shit hand and that’s ok! I didn’t deliberately have a severely disabled son who required around the clock care even as an adult. I’m not where I am because I haven’t worked my ass off!
However, I think it’s important to evaluate what we can change in our lives, what’s working and what’s not working and make what changes you can. Also a bit of therapy can really help.
I think it’s really important to not compare your life to others. You never really know what’s going on behind there closed doors. I know quite a few people who looked like they were reaching those goals you talk about but were in a mountain of debt and not in happy/healthy relationships.
There are some circumstances you can’t work hard out of.
Your story is heartbreaking, yet uplifting.
No a bit of resentment or bitterness in your post, OP could take a leaf out of your book.
If there’s a heaven, people like you will be at the front of the line.
You’re amazing ❤️
Where are you living, can i live there? You said it "seems to be" ... i am not sure for fact that everyone else has great jobs and their kids are perfect, but can i live there haha! I I own my own house, we have two cars ect ect and we have no debt, we have scabby furniture... maybe, I don't know compared to who? The cat has ripped my couch up and my walls are dirty haha. I've gained a few to many extra kgs. And I dread having to go to anywhere because I'm "scared" about my clothes and weight. I live clean and my house is a mess. Life is messy. Go live, take some time with your kids, go for a walk, remind yourself to live who gives a crap. Don't be embarrassed. Who cares if you can't get a job for now, i bet your kids do give a crap about you. Most others are up to their eyeballs in debt. If you say you can sit and listen to others,then, you truly aren't alone, like you feel. I dunno write a bloody to list, what you don't get done that day put it to the next day, or week, or month or year! Life is for the living. Xx
Why do you want to marry someone Lazy as fuck? Maybe get rid of him and then start ticking off goals
I do not have any words of wisdom. I used to be you, this used to be how I felt, I used to watch on others and feel like I was just treading water while everyone else was swimming ahead. It just wasn't my time because now I am getting ahead. I do not have it all but I am working towards it, things are getting easier and life more comfortable. It is my time now and I feel like I am one of those lucky people. I am grateful for my job and that my kids are for the most part doing well. I still have things I wish I had already achieved but I am on my way there. Your time will come too. Just hang in there and take as many opportunities as you can to make small changes, they all add up to big changes eventually. This is just a moment in time, It is not your forever. Take care.
The only person that can change your future is you.
I get the comment all the time “you’re so lucky”
No I’m not. I worked fucking hard and didn’t give up.
We live in a tiny house with a small
mortgage, I went to uni and studied. It took 5 years. I started with one baby who was 12 months, by the end my first was 6 and I had another baby. The whole family had to sacrifice to get here. There was tears, and a shit load of determination and hard work.
Now I have a teaching job, I’m earning a good wage and we have been approved for an extension for our house.
Stop looking around you, the grass isn’t always greener.
The only one that can change your future is you. Stop relying on others and stop comparing yourself to others.