******Edited for those facebook Hero’s*******
When i walked in and smelt what o smelt what did i do.... you said “i bet you walked in there and joined her” my response is this
No i did not go in and join them. I have a hard limit. When it comes to friendship i am more likely to Ghost you if i know you're using drugs than join you and start taking consuming them with you. My childhood was ruined by drugs .... this should not have to be explained ..... only for the heros in thd back have i mentioned it. (The only reason im not ghosting them is the love i have for them and their children)
I actually smelt it, walked back out to the children and made sure they did not enter the room in search for them whilst i cleaned up. What... I wont mention as they’ll know who it is.
I cannot keep and eye on the situation all i know is my bestie hasn’t spoken to me since i posted this. They've been distant and “tired”. The children are very attached to this parent. I know i should do more and need more “proof” before i act on my suspicions. I do have someone else keeping an eye on the situation.
This situation is not easy for me. Its not something id want to deal with. My disappointment in them does not stop me from loving them. Its heart breaking especially when your anxiety gets the better of you. Im a hide my head in the sand kind of girl. I hate dealing with the “hard situations” yes im an awfully shit person for wanting to avoid the truth and reality of the world. But you also dont love my life and have no idea what i deal with on a day to day basis. So judge me if you must but do not assume id kneel to peer pressure and do it too. Ive seen to many people waste their lives on this shit to ruin my own with it. **********
I'm pretty sure my friend is smoking crack/rock/meth. I don't know how to confront them about this. They used to be into drugs, got cleaned up and had some kids. I thought they were still clean until a week or so ago when I stayed with them. I know they dabbled with Mary Jayne here and there but it was never a full time thing. But this is different. I know the difference between pot and crack my past isn't a clean slate I've never smoked crack in my life but I know what it smells like as I've always left the room when they've started Because I'm not into that shit ever. When I smelt it last week I was so shocked I wanted to grab them and ask them what the fuck they are thinking. I've not always kept the best of company.
Their ability to parent has gone down hill, they're irritable and always angry with their children. It doesn't help that the relationship they were in broke down. But the poor kids, how can they put their kids through this. What kind of parent does this?? They confided in me about some of their recent behaviour in regards to their parenting. After walking into the bathroom and smelling what I smelt I put one and one together and reached a conclusion that they are abusing meth. I can't call their siblings as they have always been into the drug scene and I thought my friend was better than this. I know they're going through a rough patch but Is there ever really an excuse for this. I honestly don't think their is. Maybe I'm a shit friend. I want to take their babies always and keep them with me but I know this will make them flip. If I contact the ex they will know it's me. I don't know what to do. It's tearing me up inside. I know the ex will use this to break them although I already think they are at breaking point. WWYD as a friend who loves their friend very very much?
13 Replies
Just come out and ask them. No, just vome out and TELL them that you know whats going on. But be absolutely sure. Those poor kids. I didn't think meth had a 'smell'? My partner was a long time addict before i had enough of the bullshit life he was leading and i never once smelt a smell even though i knew he was using in the house.
I have a really sensitive nose. I'm sensitive to most smells. But I've smelt the "smell" when around other users so when it hit me my heart just dropped. I actually think I broke a bit inside. I've been thinking about this all week. I don't want them to hate me and cut me off. I feel like the kids will suffer if I confront them.
But the kids are already suffering.
Make sure you have proof, like hard proof before you start throwing around accusations of them using meth in the house with their children. Because if your wrong and the word spreads they will lose their kids.
No, they won't. Someone called child safety on my ex and I and said we were users because my ex and his friend had a falling out. I had never used meth or any drug apart from weed in my life! Child safety came around and had a look at our place and drug tested us and could see it was a load of bull and we never lost our daughter.
So you didn’t have a past of drug addiction? No? So then the situations are not at all the same. DHS is not a one case fits all.
My partner has a past issues with meth. I don’t have any issues with any illicit substances and never have.
Someone reported us not long after we got together saying my partner was using meth and he had a long history of meth use with his own child safety record because of it from his past when his ex and him use to use (he was 30 at the time he’s now 43)
Child safety came spoke to all my children alone. Me and and my partner alone and then us together.
Drug tested him (but not me) at the time he was only smoking weed and had been clean of meth for about 5 years.
They didn’t do anything but offer him support if he wanted to get off the weed as well and had no concerns about the children or their safety.
So a past history of drug use or even a past history of departmental involvement doesn’t define the course of action child safety will take either.
They definitely Dont take kids when someone uses meth, and they should. My adult son is a meth junkie with 4 young kids in the house, i reported him and CPS did sweet fuck all.
Sorry but if they are using meth the safety choice is to notify child safety especially if parenting has already started to suffer. Child safety becoming involved doesn’t automatically mean the kids will be taken but she will be drug tested and given the opportunity to get some support in the areas she is struggling. Child safety have to prove the children are at risk and they have a parent unwilling and unable to keep them safe. She could be willing but unable to keep the kids safe (unable due to drug use) and it could be enough for them to put some supports around the mum to help her back into recovery and certainly might be the kick up the pants she needs to get herself clean again.
Sorry for me when it comes to meth and kids this seems like the safety and easiest way to handle a situation like this. A meth user in denial will deny to everyone, most especially to the people that love them the most.
The children’s safety has to come before your friendship.
Call child protection. Your friend and there kids are going to need lots of monitoring and a polite chat with your friend isn’t going to change there behaviour.
Kids come first every time
A true friend does what's best for you. Not what will keep the friend no matter what. If your friend can't handle the fact you're doing what's best for the kids and her, then you have to let her go.
You need to report them and maybe give the exes details and it leaves you out of it. These poor kids. you have an obligation to stand up for these kids friends or not please be there voice. Don’t mention anything to your friend and go through welfare.
Ring the kids school and tell them you are a concerned friend. Give the kids details and they will have someone come in and question the kids at the school. The kids will hopefully open up. Go through the school. You can do it anonymously and they won’t know it’s you.Tell the school what you’ve seen and been told. They have to report anything that the kids tell them.