Abortions . I'm after advice on mums who've decided on this when lifes circumstances aren't good enough for a baby. Damaged relationship and not having ideal life to offer the baby :/
Did you have to go to councelling first and whats that like and how long does that take?
How was the proceedure?
I'm really sad to think about this but i think it maybe worse to bring into a fractured relationship. I'm torn ðŸ˜
Please be kind in replies. Its not an easy situatiin and I know theres women who'd do anything for a baby and then theres me who feels like it just cant happen to me.
5 Replies
I’ve not been in this specific situation, but recommend you get counseling anyway, even if it’s not required. I had a D&C at about 8 weeks for a blighted ovum. I didn’t deal with the devastation I was feeling at the time, and after the birth of my son 18 months later I was diagnosed with PND. Through counseling, some of what I was feeling could be linked back to the feelings of devastation from the D&C.
Not a mum - but I had a termination when I was 18 because I was in no position to have a baby.
I had to see a counsellor at the clinic for 10 minutes before the procedure, he basically asked if I'm sure I want this, am I being pressured, and is my home life safe (they really harped on about this - but that may be because it was my 60yo stepdad that came in with me, I think they assumed he was my partner).
I've never regretted it, but there's always been the odd "what if" thoughts.
In saying that, I've always known I never wanted kids - keeping it just wasn't an option.
If you're asking about counselling, maybe you should speak to someone.
I've known people that have badly regretted it afterwards, and others (like me) who never gave it a second thought. It's completely a personal decision to make.
It seems to me that the ones who regret it mostly already had kids, maybe it's that maternal instinct thing.
I was sore & very hormonal for a couple of days afterwards but things were back to normal in no time.
Had a medical termination at 7weeks.
Saw the GP, who sent me for a dating scan.
Then had to go back to the GP for the prescription, and to take the 1st pill in front of the GP.
Was able to be at home, caring for my 3 other children. Felt mostly like an extremely heavy period.
I knew it was the best thing for me and the children I already had, I do not have any regrets.
Hi there,
First off I'm sorry you are in this position, its really tough!
I'm in New Zealand, our laws have recently changed but back when I had an abortion we had to see a councilor it was more a tick boxing excercise to make sure I wasn't being forced into it and it was what I wanted, it was about a 5-10min talk.
I had an abortion for similar reasons, was in a toxic relationship with a man who couldn't keep a job, was hot and cold and very unpredictable. I also later found out he had a drug problem. I have seen him go on to get other women pregnant and these women and his kids have really suffered.
I often have "what if" moments, I think about how old my child would be, what they would be like ect and that can be hard, but I am at peace with my choice, my and that child's life would have been really tough, I couldn't imagine having such a permanent connection to my ex.
I'm pro an educated choice, I dont want to say it was easy or simple, but it was the best choice for me.
All the best x
I'd give anything to habe 1 more child ... there's always adoption so peoplenwhoncant habe kids get to