How much time is acceptable for a new born to spend with dad?
I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant the dad and I aren't together. And I am wanting to prepare myself with what will be an acceptable amount of time for him to see baby. We have a great relationship but I want him to understand there needs to be boundaries with the amount of time he spends at my house (baby will be bf and whilst so little I don't feel it's appropriate for a baby to be away from me for extended amounts of time. I am all for him being able to bond with baby etc and his daughters being able to bond with their new sibling. But I have 2 other children whom I also need to think of as well.
I want to be prepared to be able to talk to him about it in the next few days so we both know where we stand.
Also do you think it's appropriate I ask him to not be in the room while I am in labour. He can come in just as I am about to give birth or straight after baby is here. I am wanting to be fair but I also need to think about my own stresses as well as his feelings and it's all becoming so overwhelming already!
Appropriate daddy time for a newborn
Appropriate daddy time for a newborn
Posted in:
Men's Business, Being a Dad, Pregnancy
3 Replies
I was in a similar position to you except there were no other kids involved. Firstly get some legal advice, there are free over the phone services that can provide the correct information. What a bunch of people say on a forum may not reflect the law. What I was told many years ago was it was appropriate for the father to visit the baby at my home a few times a week and maybe take the baby for a short walk around the block then gradually build from there. As to the actual birth, that is entirely up to you. No reasonable person would expect you to show your intimate parts to someone you are no longer intimate with. I had my ex in the room for the parts I felt comfortable with which for me was not when I was being examined and in the actual delivery. He was fine with this and came in the room as soon as I felt comfortable.
My husband and I separated at the beginning of my pregnacy. I'm 34 weeks and he will not be coming into the room when I am giving birth. Things are amicable about the children but on a personal level I am devistated. He has moved on and will be traveling interstate with this woman 2 weeks before I am due. I feel he has not been supportive of me during the pregnacy and won't be supportive in the birth. If he makes it to the delivery he can come in when I am ready.
Regarding the birth I say he comes in if and when you say so, he opted out of your life so he doesn't get a say anymore.
Bubs will be feeding hour on hour off initially so I'd say an hour each day between bf if he's up for it. Personally though unless he is super keen I wouldn't be offering daily...
Like the first response says get some legal advice asap!
Good luck mumma, you and bugs are the priority now. X