Hi IM's
I don't know how to feel or whom to ask. So thought I ask all IM's.
Background:
I am a mother of two. 7yr old and a 4 yr old. With a third on the way due next year.
I am the youngest sibling and the first to have children.
I have become an Aunty recently as my brother n his wife just had a baby girl.
I am already n Aunty on the other side of the family and have been for 4 years.
It's been weird n awkward. I don't feel comfortable around my brother n his wife. I have to physically ask if I can have a cuddle and if I don't I don't get a cuddle. I have seen them 3 times over the weekend and not had a cuddle. 2 of those times a lady whom is only an aquatance comes to say congrats and they pick him up and give him straight to her. Both times. But nothing to me.
I love kids, I know how to handle them, I don't stick my nose in and give advice unless I am approached (I know what it is like with people giving advice so I only do it if I'm asked) I have never broken my kids, I have a third on the way it's not like I don't know what I'm doing.
My friends see me with their babies and nearly throw them at me?
Can anyone help make me feel better? Any ideas as to why this could be?
Should I be asking to have a hold even tho others don't need to?
I feel like they think I don't know what in doing or am I on the wrong path that they may feel threatened being new parents n I have been there done that??
I feel hurt and doesn't help with emotional pregnancy hormones going on either. It's making me more emotional like I'm not accepted as his Aunty :(
Then on the top of things my parents have gone all out for them n their baby. I had to provide everything up my parents when we had kids and they have gone out and bought things for them to use up their house when they visit?
So I'm feeling really great at the moment.
Did others have this issue?
4 Replies
Don't read to much into it. If you want a cuddle ask for one. It's possible all that you are experiencing is a personality clash that creates awkwardness on both sides. Just because we are in a family doesn't mean everyone is going to be close and feel comfortable with each other. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with you or them, it's not nasty there is just something that doesn't click.
Don't read into it. Just be the aunty you want to be regardless of your brother/Sil.
I was on the other side my mum and sister took issue with me, I later found out they read into who I left the baby with and how I could cope with visitors and all that ( I just did it differently to them) but they read into it had a big bitch about me (not to me) and stopped talking and blamed me.
Honestly I don't have time for their drama and issues and meanness. I'm a bit busy parenting a newborn and dealing with a hundred issues and emotions!
Just keep being kind & supportive & be the aunty you want to be, you won't know what they're feeling and going through unless they tell you.
It could even be to do with vaccines with all the hype lately? Or maybe they see you as pregnant woman with two school children as a high risk and feel uncomfortable with you being close to their baby. Do you remember that feeling with your first newborn?
It could be anything, the best and kindest thing you can do is roll with it & make it easy for them at this time.
Oh and accept that your parents will have different relationships. With you and with the grandkids. Dont compare and compete. Who knows, maybe they also feel on the outer and buying things helps them try to close that gap.
Dont take it personally. Im one of those people who find it rude when people just hand their kid to me (and yes im a mum of 2) so i dont do it. If ypu dont feel comfortable around yhem maybe the feeling is mutual? Are you close with them?
Maybe if you walked over with your arms out theyd just hand bub o you but if you think there is a problem why noy just ask rather then stew over it