Hi all,
My partner and I have had 50/50 care of his daughter starting around 10 week ago. We told child support about 4-6 weeks ago (as an after thought!) and DPs assessment has changed accordingly after child support had confirmed the care percentage with the mother, but we didn't realise she hadn't told centrelink about the new arrangements as well.
We filled out the necessary change of care forms for centrelink, and are just awaiting a reply, but my question is, will SD's mother now be in debt to centrelink, and would my partner get back pay of FTB A & B? (He is a stay at home Dad with our two other children)
She has already cracked it about the Child support payments stopping, and threatened for my DP to not see his daughter anymore - I really just want to know what we'll be in for from the mother once she gets the letter from centrelink (mind you SD is an only child, and her mother is living with her partner, who both have full time jobs, so I find it upsetting that she is being like this!)
(Please note she refused to sign the change of care forms, and threatened to tell child support my DP was no longer seeing his DD (eg. Lie) - we got statements from her teacher outlining the days we pick her up/drop her off, as well as her sports coach for two days of the week as requested by centrelink)
Now that we have her 50/50, the mother waits until the days we have her to mention things such as - oh we lost/broke her school hat/jacket/shoes so you'll need to buy her more or she needs winter clothes which we will go out and buy and give to the mother (otherwise she doesn't get any) - so we're more then definitely contributing both financially and emotionally to SD - which is fine - she's getting what she needs and we don't make a fuss about costs like the mother (we don't want her feeling like she's a hassel!) but with two other kids as well and only one of us working makes times tough.
Anyway, sorry for the long story. Any advice/experiences would be amazing.
7 Replies
She most likely will be in debt but it would be a pretty small debt and they let you pay it off over time (eg take $10 off a payment until it's paid).
My sister does 50/50 care and the arrangement is each home has separate belongings besides school uniforms and school gear. They have a few special items that go between each house like stuffed toys etc.
Thanks Anonymous!
We have everything for her here, and she does there as well.
Most of what we have here does end up travelling there and not finding it's way back (clothes/containers for lunch/toys - everything!).
I'd definitely say it's not 50/50 shared costs, because if we're told she needs something we buy it - if we don't, she doesn't get it and we buy it the next day she's here.
We paid 50/50 for all school gear at the beginning of the year, but the mother also told us we needed to buy our own uniform for here - so we did, and I paid for all winter uniform as well as new shoes, school photos, excursions, sports.
I guess it was a bit of a 'vent' post as well. Haha.
I don't have a super problem doing it, but I don't see why she's cracking it. They would be financially better off then we are since they have two incomes and only one child 50% if the time.
Oh well. I guess I can't change other people attitudes!
It's frustrating isn't it. Really sounds like she knows how to work it!
Something my sister does is do changeovers from school pick up. That way contact time with ex is limited to school holidays. It also limits how much is transferred between houses as there is only room in school bags for minimum stuff plus uniform they are wearing. That might be an option for you as it would make it harder for her to drop one liners about what needs to be bought. Although I'm sure the mother would find a way lol
We only really see her Sunday afternoons when we pick her up from her house once a fortnight. (We have care so that we have her Sunday - Wednesday morning for school drop off every week, as well as every second weekend).
She does it then. If we don't buy it, she doesn't get it.
She has been without a hat for school for about 2 1/2 weeks (I bought the last two and am trying to teach SD to value possessions!)
SD sneaks toys etc into her bag, and often if we don't send her home with things requested by the mother she goes without (eg. long pants/jumper/HEADLICE TREATMENT(!!!!) to redo her hair in the correct amount of time)
It's super frustrating! :(
Poor little thing, you sound like a good step mum
We often to refer to the other parents house as 'the black hole' because her house is such a mess that things always get lost. We have just bought one of every item and those items don't go there anymore. Lunch on the day she goes to her mothers is wrapped in plastic wrap!
Yes she will be billed by centrelink for the period - from the date the care percentage changed until the date centrelink was notified and payments were reduced or stopped. Although this can be paid back over time under a payment arrangement.
You should be back paid although only from the date of your claim or the date the child entered your care which you will need to prove. Anytime before that is unfortunately your loss, as far as I understand it.
The items you are buying for the child are all considered forms of child support you should be gathering the receipts and claiming them through the child support agency which should reduce some of your payments or cause her to pay you.
You can get a list of all the things that are classified as child support from the child support agency as well as advice on how to claim and how it works.
Goodluck :-)