I'm appalled with the amount of responses saying mind your own business and worry about your own kids when others have asked questions involving other peoples children they are concerned about! What happened to it takes a village to raise a child!? It also sickens me to think people are minding there own business fora child who may be getting abused or beaten or have health issues that are being ignored. Honestly this is why so many cases go undetected till we hear about it on the news! I would just like to say please don't mind your own business! It may be the wake up call a parent needs, or the police ect. Yes do things politely and show support if it's nothing to serious and your just concerned about a friends child, if you show support and don't judge or critacise like most of you are doing daily on here then the person or child you are worried about will understand and take it with a grain of salt. Or wake up and smell the roses then thank you later. But I'm so sick of reading mind your own business or worry about your own child. Yes some cases there is an exception to saying this but when it involves a child health, well being and life don't ignore it!
Hope everyone can take something good from this and hope this helps those who asked a question and to be told this without any real answers.
So dissapointed!
Dassapointed in those suggesting to mind your own business.
Dassapointed in those suggesting to mind your own business.
Posted in:
Life Lessons, Sisterhood Stories, Parenthood Guilt, Things to do and see, Education, Behaviour
12 Replies
I think in some cases mind your own business is absolutely correct but I agree with you that in cases of domestic violence, child abuse etc then it shouldn't be the case. I guess my advice for your above post is that perhaps you might want to reread it and consider if this is how you want to deliver your message. In my opinion it sounds very angry and I think you have numerous great points but it is slightly overshadowed by the emotion and what felt like blame on us. Overall I think it will generate lots of love and hate, not much in between as it's a post where the emotion is very apparent.
I do think though that there is a fine line between being helpful by stepping in and by overstepping ones place or role. I think perhaps it might be useful to mention this as there are some cases recently where that fine line exists such as the parent who wanted to get help for her friends child because they were fussy with their eating. Some would view it as their business because they would think the parents are uneducated about these things whereas others see it as a persons who isn't a parent interfering with their parenting style. Just an example.
But I just thought I'd let you know because there has been a lot of negative comments on Facebook and I think that although we have no power over what others say, we can do our part individually to try and mitigate/prevent arguments (where possible). :)
I agree
Couldn't agree more
the only times i have seen "mind your own business" is when women are speculating on other mothers parenting styles and are directly not related to the family (only knowing the family slightly by association or gossip), obviously when it comes to abuse then no one should stand by - but isnt that common sense? if you feel a child is being neglected or abused do you really need to write on here about it?
being someone who was writen about on here by a jealous, cruel and nasty family member speculating on my situation - but also throwing in absolute lies and leaving out crucial information which all was intentional to try to feel justification for her own insecurity and spitefulness towards me - im very critical when women write in and speculate on other peoples situations
Yeah I agree, the two posts Ive seen where people got told to mind there own business (lately) were not abuse cases. In both cases it sounded like the parent had been receiving professional advice for the situation they had just chosen not to divulge all that info to the person writing in (or the person writing in did not like that advice). It was obvious to anyone who had been through a similar situation with a more than just picky eater and had seen professionals that what the parent was doing was standard practice and that they were receiving treatment.
There was also one about a parent who didn't go to the emergency department and how what a bad parent she was (but had called to seek advice on what to do and was told to monitor at home) somehow that was terrible parenting! Um sorry no it is not. She sought professional help and followed it.
yes i saw that one about the child not being taken to emergency with possible concussion... but then was taken to daycare, im sure if the mother was intentionally being negligent she wouldnt drop the child off at daycare where they are legally obligated to act or report if they feel something is wrong
If the child had been unwell at all the childcare centre would have sent the child home, or would have taken the child to ED themselves as that is standard practice. :)
I've spent too many hours in ED with my son where he genuinely needed to be there and a regular user of the hotline (my kid is a walking chatastrophe) and we have been given the exact same advice. If she had taken her kid to the hospital she would have had to wait as much as 6hrs even to be seen and then sent home and told to monitor at home anyway.
I agree that yes when it comes to the health and well win of a child that just that one person that intervene could be the difference between life and death as I'm many doc cases where nothing is done until the child unfortunately has passed and it's a great point however in this case it's probably and most likely something the parents are well aware of and unless you can see in other ways ie bruising etc that this is one thing you should keep to yourself unless that person is a family member
The most recent one was the picky eater and she most certainly did not need today anything- it was clear they had been seeking profession advice or had been trying things they read online- the we're aware what purpose would it have served to say her I'm worried about what your kid eats cos mine are great eaters? She somhoukd have minded her own business. The child was not being neglected not being abused- my sisters feeds their kids terribly- but criticise me for only given fruits and veggies (even though my kids only eat a handful of healthy food- that is all they get fed then) I be the bigger person and don't say anything about it cos I know the meltdowns her kids have and she obviously just can't be bothered with the food battle but they is an all round amazing mothers so there's no point - I think she could do better in the food department but I'm not her and I don't have her kids grinding me down over everything else all day that I won't fight them on food- I choose food as my battle and I will not lose- I will not accept no. Other things I let slide tey refuse to let go with their kids
In the two posts I was thinking about from recent there was no abuse and it came off as a warranted or instigating advice .
Think about it- you're at you're wits end with your kids eating habits- you've tried everything- you've compromised more than you ever said you would- then you're friend tells you to pick up your parenting you're kids a bad eater- well duh- thanks captain obvious
The most recent one was the picky eater and she most certainly did not need today anything- it was clear they had been seeking profession advice or had been trying things they read online- the we're aware what purpose would it have served to say her I'm worried about what your kid eats cos mine are great eaters? She somhoukd have minded her own business. The child was not being neglected not being abused- my sisters feeds their kids terribly- but criticise me for only given fruits and veggies (even though my kids only eat a handful of healthy food- that is all they get fed then) I be the bigger person and don't say anything about it cos I know the meltdowns her kids have and she obviously just can't be bothered with the food battle but they is an all round amazing mothers so there's no point - I think she could do better in the food department but I'm not her and I don't have her kids grinding me down over everything else all day that I won't fight them on food- I choose food as my battle and I will not lose- I will not accept no. Other things I let slide tey refuse to let go with their kids
In the two posts I was thinking about from recent there was no abuse and it came off as a warranted or instigating advice .
Think about it- you're at you're wits end with your kids eating habits- you've tried everything- you've compromised more than you ever said you would- then you're friend tells you to pick up your parenting you're kids a bad eater- well duh- thanks captain obvious
Use your common sense might be a better thing to say then, obviously if it's serious then you say something to them or someone - but if it's petty then mind your own business and stop being a busy body!
Most mind own business is because of posts like I don't like what my friends kid eat. That's a mind own business but in case of suspected abuse yes get involved. I actually had neighbours call police to my house recently because they thought I was killing my daughter. I wasn't my kid was having a ptsd melt down. I am the Mum who got kids home at Christmas after father abused them. My daughter screamed for hours. My neighbours do not know the circumstances to what's going on here and although I found it annoying as well as the police did also, I was proud of the neighbours for caring about her. They have no idea I cleared a DoCs assessment and thought maybe she needed help. Yes you are right in we need to get involved but only at certain times.