In the last 6 months I have found out that my partner and father of my child was addicted to drugs so I moved out for the safety of my children but we stayed together while living separately and him "getting help" for his drug and mental health issues. In this time he cheated on me! Well it's the one girl I can confirm with no doubt that it happened. I forgave him and gave him a second chance as he said it was the biggest mistake ever he was off his face on drugs and thought I did not care. It is now 6 months later and the lies continue to flood in to do with the cheating and the drugs showing he is making no true effort to change. All of these things I thought we could fix but the whole time I was ignoring the big problem the physical and emotional abuse I was living through. I have now finally stepped away and am in the process with the help of a psychologist breaking the patten of abuse and protecting my children and I the way I always should have. I am looking for any advice on how to move forward even though I know the man I fell in love with does not exist and is really just an abusive sociopath. I miss him terribly and am struggling with the feeling of loneliness. I thought this man was my soulmate and together we could do anything but in reality he is does not exist!!
How do I move forward from a relationship that was only ever lies??
How do I move forward from a relationship that was only ever lies??
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Life Lessons, Relationships & Marriage, Sisterhood Stories
5 Replies
I think that's the hard but about getting out of an abusive relationship, part of you is addicted to the intensity and crave to have it back again. Fill your life with friends, outings and have a plan for when your tempted to ring him like journalling, ringing a friend, visiting a relative.
Unfortunately as soon as drugs are involved the lies come easy, and it's not just the drugs he has to give up its the lies as well, they come hand in hand.
I'm sorry your going through this and my heart goes out to you, but you and your child are better off alone. If losing his family isn't going to make him change his habits then nothing will.
Good luck with everything xx
This could be my story. I broke it off with my ex 6 months ago, I have done it in the past to because of the drugs, this time it is forever. Now I think the scariest thing is the change. Everyday is a new day and it gets easier. I wish I could give you a magical way all the hurt could end, I'm sorry I can't. I guess the main thing is to grieve the loss of a relationship, someone who you loved, and the family unit you once had. Every night I look at my children, even though it has been so short I think of how much different things are I think of all the little things we can now freely do and how I'm not about to sneak in to look at his phone or go log onto his Facebook because I want to know the truth. Really take this as a chance to turn your life around, as someone who has been there time and time again don't go back it doesn't change just worry about you and your babies. They say time heals all wounds, at the moment I'm in the stage where time has numbed it and now just waiting for it to really go away. Keep getting the help you are getting, know that you have done the right thing and keep moving forward. You can do this, good luck in your new journey I hope the day you find happiness again isn't to far away xo
Remember that that ecstatic feeling comes from your imagination and hopes and dreams of what could be. Then remind yourself that sadly it is not real, he is not that man and he is not and won't be the man you want him to be.
Keep moving forward and you will get there.
I feel you could really benefit from someone to help navigate this confusing path for you, so a counsellor or psychologist, they can be your guide and sounding post and help remind you why you left when you are questioning yourself. Talk to a gp about a referral, most people get i think 6 sessions free