Moving on after a marriage breakdown. I left my marriage some time ago now and have spent the last 18 months on my own 'working on myself' I've recently started a relationship with a wonderful wonderful man. But I'm wondering... How to, play it cool? How to make it work, with kids etc.. The protocol in relation to meeting the kids, letting my ex know etc etc. I have no idea ?? I'm finding it a little challenging to accept I've met such a wonderful man, it's like I'm waiting for the bad bit?? He works away for 6 weeks and home 6 weeks so we have such a close friendship an ability to talk etc, I'm determined to make sure I remain my own person also. I'm babbling. Sorry. I'm excited, what can I say. So tips an ideas ladies :)
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Here are my 'rules' for introducing a new guy into my kids life.
1. Making sure that he is with me before I intro him to the kids for at least a few months.
2. Making sure there are no sleep overs while the kids are there for at least a few months after they have met them.
3. Put ground rules in place like no nakedness, walking to the bathroom in jocks etc in front of the kids.
4. Not allowing the new man to babysit, bath, shower or dress the kids and not allowing the kids to do those things in front of the new man.
5. Not allowing the kids to jump in the bed in the mornings or co sleep while the new man is there.
These may sound weird rules but they protect my kids from becoming overly familiar with someone who I'm not sure is permanent. They also protect them from sexual predators and abuse as the rates of abuse from a new parter are higher.
Thank you that helps a lot and very sensible rules!! X
I am in the totally same position. Well done on meeting s wonderful man. I met one too and they are out there. Thank goodness.
We are meeting at parks n playgrounds as my kids are little. He won't be staying over here ever while they are here. But he will when they are at their dads, he won't be caring for them ever. Caring as In Looking after them until it's like years n they are older.
You don't need to tell ex. Your kids will probably do that.
I'm
Not telling people either not on fb, not saying anything just going on with life with him. If people see then they see. I thought I should day if they were going in his car but apparently that's not needed
My problem is that my kids don't understand that I don't love their dad anymore. I need to work on that.
All the best