Do you think you’re ok? - I’m not ,and I’m sharing that with you.. SHIT!

I have been there and am so proud and happy to say that I have come out the other end.
It was not easy but I tell you, the absolute first and most important step is admitting that something isn't right and wanting to do something about it so good on you!
I combined counselling and medication for 3 years and I am now a big fan of cognitive behaviour therapy. Look it up and give it a go.
Also, there is a fantastic book called black dog and my husband really enjoyed the other one called living with a black dog.
So proud of you for taking the big honest leap.
You have an army of support and I wish you the very best.
You are a fantastic person and I have received so much joy from your work!
Best wishes.

I wish they could come up with another word for this illness. When you say depression, most people think of it as if you're having a bad hair day and not feeling too positive for a bit. Many don't - and cannot relate the word to the black pit of despair that you can feel. It was only when I showed people my arms from cutting myself that they realised how serious my depression was - more than just a bad hair day. After a year or so of therapy, a couple of years on medication and amazing support from my husband who struggled with how he wanted "fix it" but couldn't - and truly amazing friends, I am proud to say I am a healthier person. Good luck with your journey TIM and to every other person out there struggling. xxx

I have been fighting depression for about 13 years now or possibly more, I was 'officially' diagnosed at 16. I think it is a very misunderstood disease, one that can swallow you up in a big black cloud of smoke and suffocate you until you feel you can barely breathe. For me in the past it has felt like I'm drowning, like I've got a massive boulder tied to my ankle and it's dragging me to the bottom of the ocean, getting darker and darker until I can no longer see any light. The self hatred that goes along with it is something I can completely empathise with, when I'm going through my dark moments a 'failure' is all I see. The silver lining (if there is one) of battling for so long is I can now recognise when I falling into that pit again and have worked out a few strategies that help. I take St John's Wart (not a fan of anti D's), I type up affirmations (I am good enough, I am not a failure, I am Strong etc..) and stick them in various places like on the bathroom mirror/kettle/fridge & when I see them I repeat them out loud with conviction - the power of the mind is an amazing thing, I meditate, when I start feeling anxious and my chest feels tight I stop & breathe - 5 deep breaths in and out with my eyes closed, I dance with my kids and try shake it all out but most of all I remind myself that there is an impermanence to everything, whatever the thought/feeling/situation it will pass & if I'm strong enough to make it through each one I come out a better/stronger person each time & eventually I am ok again :)

So wonderful and brave for you to share you story, you have so much love and support behind you and YES you WILL be ok

xxx

Well done you for sharing! You've done the best thing you could ever do for yourself :) this will help so many others too!

Thank you so much for having the courage to share this and good on you for asking for help. I was in the exact same place last year and suffered in silence for a long time until someone recognised I had a problem and helped me to talk about it. Not everyone is as fortunate as I was and so many people continue to suffer through depression by themselves all the while convincing themselves that they are ugly, no good, shit at everything and that nobody likes them. If anyone ever feels like this I cannot stress enough how important it is to talk about it and ask for help. I also want to say if anyone ever has someone come to them for help about this stuff please be supportive and not judgmental. This person is not weak or crazy or a whinger, they just need help to pull themselves out of this hole. Don't be scared or put off or ignore them because this will probably do more damage than you realise, just give them a hug, tell them it's going to be ok and encourage them to seek professional help if you can't handle it on your own. Sometimes all you need is to say these things out loud to someone else and it loses it's hold over you. Sharing the burden will lighten your load so much and you might just find someone else has had that same experience. It's amazing the amount of people that could relate to me once I started talking about how I felt. We're all in this together and it's time we started supporting each other instead of pretending we've got it all under control, because I'll tell you a secret...nobody has it all worked out we're all learning as we go and we can all learn from each other. Thank for sharing Kristy, you will be in my prayers xo

Thanks for being so brave and sharing from the heart. I haven't actually experienced this myself but my daughter has just been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. The journey of dealing with these issues is often a rocky one but I applaud your positive attitude and determination to climb the mountain!

You story was like your where writing my thoughts in head. I too have been suffering from anxiety and stress for many years now. This is a little bit of my story... I had things under control however recently I was on my own with my kids for 7 months and it went down hill again. My partner is home now and things are good. But I fear when he goes back to work it will all come back. I always ask myself why can't you just be happy??? I have 2 children to a separate relationship and with this comes a lot of worry and fears. I also have a youngest to my new partner. I want you to know you are not alone. Thinking of you always and sending lots of love. I know you have so many amazing friends and family. However if you need anything I am here. A friend from school Danielle Mwah

I remember a time when I felt like shit about everything also.
But of course I wasn't really trying to make myself better either.
I hated looking in the mirror, and I felt like my face was melting every time I did. Sometimes it was hard to just take showers. And my house was becoming like a hoarders house...piles of shit stacked up everywhere. I sat down one day and wrote everything out that I wanted to accomplish. Even down to planting a garden, some volunteer work...etc. I wrote out a schedule of how I would lead my day...(eat, shower, clean, read) --- And eventually after doing this over and adding things, and taking that away which I had made a habit of things really started looking up. I stopped analyzing myself about everything, and instead DID things. I started becoming more selfless...
Selfless in the relationship, with my kids, with friends/family...and even with strangers. By focusing on others, I dealt with my own...because I felt good about what I did. I felt happy and fulfilled. I actually REALLY enjoy doing things for other people. But of course we have to know our limits. If our help becomes expected rather than appreciated stand up, and say no. Tough love is love.
I based my life around TRUTH/LOVE. I focused on God, and purpose. And eventually my whole perspective on EVERYTHING changed. Everything fixed itself. I got more motivated, more active...my energy grew (because before I had NO ENERGY) Today I stand where I stand and I am happy. I feel good, about everything. I am content with what I have...my love life/family life/social life is perfect. --- I rejoice everyday. I am thankful for everything. And I am so gosh darn happy. Its hard to explain the past. There was a lot of disappointment. Mostly I was disappointed in myself for letting so many people down and I walked around with that guilt. I realize today...That was yesterday, everyday is a new day. To leave the past in the past, and only return to analyze, learn, grow...and remember the great memories we have had. --- We can turn our lives around at ANY moment. But we just have to do it. And we have to love ourselves, because we are we...and this is who we are. This is our life, and its all we got...Take care of ourselves. Love is number 1. Health is number 2. Purpose is number 3. and 4...repeat. I remember the endless repeating in my head...and the reminders of all the shit laying around everywhere. Its like the external reflected the internal, and IT DOES. That is very true. Clean up the mind, and everything outside of yourself will clean itself up also. (Or visa versa) clutter, clutters the mind. Meditate on what you need to do. MAKE yourself do what you know you need to do. And take pleasure in it. Take pleasure in everything. Do right, treat yourself with the love and respect you treat others also. I WAS a shit mom. I thought real shitty about everyone and myself. I treated people like shit. My house was shit. My life was shit. --- I admit that. But the day I said...enough is enough. And took intentional action, it was no longer an uphill battle...in fact it was downhill, and EVERYTHING got better...easier, and done faster. Now I am thankful. And I love myself. I feel good when I look in the mirror, and satisfied at the end of my day. I pray everyone could feel this way. Complete. Best of luck to ya. To everyone. We all deserve to be loved, to be happy, and satisfied. Especially when it is all RIGHT THERE. WE just need to see it.

Good for you....Sometime i think we all need a little help.....but also stay possitive you a a good mum and are doing the best with what you know now!

This is exactly how I have felt for a long time now my gorgeous girl x