PND - my story

Anonymous

PND - my story

This month is hopefully the start of my happy / normal life
I wanted to share my story in the hope that it may help other mums feeling like me.

There's a long backstory that I won't go in to but I have always been so against taking medications for anything including depression. I understand why people do and have never had a problem with that and always supported them but it wasn't for me.

5 yrs ago I had my first child after a few losses and fertility treatment, it was a hard ride but bub finally arrived and everything was fine.
Until life threw us a curveball we had to fight to get past.
Fast forward and lots more fertility treatment and losses we finally got bub 2.

Life should've been perfect, our family is finally complete, my husband is amazing and great family / friends and we are in a great place but I just couldn't feel happy, I've been pretending everyday.
I struggle to get out of bed, to do dishes or washing.
Everything is too much effort.

I do the bare minimum each day, house is clean, kids fed but they are left to amuse themselves most of time while I lay in bed or on lounge watching them.

My husband is great with them when he's home from work and I pretend everything's fine when he's here.
Something finally snapped and I realised my kids deserve better. They deserve a fun and connected mum not a mum who can't be bothered.
I finally went to dr and asked for help. He has put me on a low dose anti depressant but the difference is amazing.

I actually put music on and danced and sung with kids this week.
We did craft, went for a walk to shop for donuts, played at the park.
And it was because I wanted to not because I was forcing myself to do it because I thought I should

All the small things I should've been enjoying but I've missed so much by being stubborn and not asking for help or accepting I had a problem.

Thankyou if you've stuck with me this far.
For any ladies feeling like I have PLEASE talk to your dr, you may not need medication there may be other ways for you but please don't let it go on this way.
Things CAN change and you CAN feel a lot better

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Post Natal Depression, Parenthood Guilt, Pregnancy, Baby & Toddler

1 Replies

Anonymous

I can so relate to this!! I suffered pnd after both my babies and needed meds and therapy each time, the meds really helped to
Level me. Not saying they are for everyone but they helped me to be a more interactive and positive mum. It's great you are feeling stable again and as women we shouldn't habe to pretend but be able to be honest with our feelings but i felt so ashamed after my first 5 years ago that I felt that way! Good on you Mumma for being so open and real xx

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