Everyone is asking about a baby shower and I want to have/am planning on having one because I know it will save my partner and I a bunch plus we moved away from family and haven't seen them in so long! I thought social media would teach me what I should do but I am stumped! I don't know what to do! Are they expensive? What do I do?! I'm due in May so I think I should have it in March (we're driving to see them and staying at a families house) but now I'm not sure?!
I'm so overwhelmed by all this Mum to be stuff. My partner keeps telling me to chill out and that he knows what he's doing and I'll pick up mother habits and know what to do as soon as bub is born but I'm so anxious and I need to know what needs to be done now! Like, today, he brought me over to formula to look at it so we could have an idea on what we would use and I didn't even know that we would use it! I said, I'm breastfeeding, don't you just give them that and put them on solids after like a year (I only want to breastfeed for that long). Apparently that's not really how it works sometimes... I don't feel like a failure, I'm just anxious and unsure of where to start. We have so much going on. I can't manage to keep a job in the hospitality industry and as soon as I say I'm pregnant, they become "over hired". I've signed up for NRAS homes but still have no idea if it's a good idea! We really don't want to stay in the duplex we have because of shitty people living here and the noises! But I'm not sure what to do! He says it's going to be ok and everytime he says it's going to be ok, it is but I'm so used to being able to spend money, having money and having a plan that it's hard with this sudden change.
I feel like I'm going crazy!
Sorry about the all over the place post and rant... I'm just so... anxious and scared.
Q1: Please explain baby shower
Q2: What am I doing?! What is being a Mum?!
Ps. First born and unplanned.
4 Replies
Do your self a favour and go buy the book "what to expect when your expecting" saved me a few times when i was pregnant with my first and the first few months. Also try a parenting class they usually go through the whole choices about labour, what to expect, ideas and thoughts on dummies, formula, breastfeeding, solids all sorts of stuff. But that book really helped me make a plan in my own head
For my baby shower, I just had family and friends over to my house and all I did was supply things to eat and drink.
I didn't bother with any games and I would say for the baby showers I have been to it's 50/50 whether there are games. Just relax and treat the day as if your having a bunch of friends over for afternoon tea.
To prepare for the baby to come definitely get a couple of books to read. I wouldn't try to stress too much at the moment. If you can breastfeed that's great cause it will save you a stack on money and if can't well formula is fine. In terms of food, babies have only milk (breast or formula) up to around 4-6 months and then you start introducing food in the form of purées. Generally you try one new food every few days (say pumpkin, sweet potato etc) to see how they react. Try veggies first and then after a few weeks you can introduce purée meat and chicken and fruits.
I'm sure you will have a community nurse you can see to ask all the questions you have. I saw one at the beginning every 2 weeks and I bombarded her with questions and she weighed the boys each time (we had twins) and plotted their growth and gradually the period extended to every 3 weeks, once a month and then every few months.
1 -
Baby shower. Had all females from his and my family. Ended up costing a few hundred. Found it boring. Most people there were strangers. Waste of time and money. If I could go back, I'd do an afternoon tea with a few cookies and a cake. No stress, no drama.
I had mine April, baby due in July. Loved this as it meant I wasn't huge and uncomfortable
2 -
Get a baby book (or use Google) and look up different parenting styles.
There are hundreds of different ways to raise a baby. That doesn't make one way more 'right'. You just need to find the one that's right for you.
Look up breastfeeding vs formula. Find out the benefits of both and decide what's best for you.
Tins of formula tell you how much to feed your baby, and your baby tells you how often to breastfeed.
Look up things like co sleeping vs them in their own bed, baby led weaning vs purees. Cloth vs disposable nappies. Attachment parenting. Self soothing. Etc. Etc.
Look up whatever question or parenting style you can think of!
Get as much information as you can and just pick the option that works best for you and you little one.
(I personally breastfed until 13/14 months when he self weaned- I didn't give my son formula afterwards. I also waited until 6 months to start him on solids and decided to try baby led weaning, which is skipping purees and starting them off on soft finger foods)
And remember to breathe. Every new mother feels that way. But it really does come naturally.
Find a friend to organise it for you. I had a friend organise mine, we went to a cafe had coffee and cake and chatted and played silly games. I loved it.