Hey IM's so me and my partner have a pretty stable relationship. We get along well always have date nights, it's going great! Until one of his certain friends come around. It's only this one guy that he just changes his attitude completely. He snaps at me while he is there, he speaks really rudely, with foul language (normally never swears), he ignores me, gets angry, demands things. He is a completely different person around this guy. This guy is a bit of an ass I'll admit, I just don't get why my partner does this?! I asked him why he changes around this guy and he seriously replied with 'oh I don't your being jealous' jealous of what?!
How do I tell him how this makes me feel? I'm sick of being treated like crap when this guy is in the picture. (Usually comes around 5/6 times a week and often sleeps on the couch, not with my approval) this guy is manipulative, angry, mean and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.
What do I do?!?
Hate partners friend.
Hate partners friend.
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, FAQ
8 Replies
You need to talk to your partner and not let him fob you off. Tell him exactly how you feel when this friend comes over and make it clear that you are not jealous
Don't blame this guy, blame your partner. Its his behaviour. It's him who can be a.jerk situationally (red flag!!) it's him who deflects it right back onto you (big red flag)
Take the other guy out of the equation and take a serious look at your partner.
Don't let his deflect by dignified him with response or defending yourself, simply stay dead on topic, 'you said....., I felt hurt/disrespected.
If it continues don't accept that treatment.
So this friend comes around 5-6 nights a week which means your partner is an asshole 5-6 nights of the week? Doesnt leave much time to be a nice person. Unless this friend is holding a gun to your partner, he is making the choice himself to be mean to you!!
Honestly I wouldn't be putting up with that at all. Your partner is treating you badly and that guy is allowed to stay 5/6 times a week! Your partner is a jerk, and weak and I'd be running as fast as I could.
Firstly, don't wait to bring it up later... call him out on the spot in front of his friend! Show him that you won't tolerate being belittled in front of anyone by sticking up for yourself and making him look like the asswipe he is!. Secondly, i agree with everyone else, this is his behaviour and the friend can't be blamed... your partner CHOOSES to treat you this way!
You have a pretty stable relationship except for the 5 to 6 nights a week when your partners friend is there? Speaks with foul language only when his friend is around? Again - 5 to 6 times a week.
How do I read this?
Your partner is being a dick. Don't defend his behaviour.
I'd call him on it, in front of his dickhead friend. If he doesn't respond appropriately just walk out the door and never come back. Let them have each other.
^This^
Covertly record what he says then play it to him in the morning? That way he hears exactly what he says.