I don't know if this is a question or more a rant but I need to get it off my chest! My daughter turns 3 in just 2 weeks time and 2 weeks ago she had her last feed from mummy! The sad thing is not one single person knew she was still being fed! I am so amazingly proud of my self and how far we managed to take our journey but so very very sad that I can't tell anyone firstly how long we managed and secondly how well she has adjusted to not having milk.
You may think it's strange that no one knows but we wee judged and pushed to stop almost from day one. From very ill health on her part to start with. The nurses from the beginning were encouraging me to bottle feed her so they could monitor her in take. Even on day 3 I was badgered so much in the special care unit to give her a bottle that I caved and thankfully she would not take it. From that point on i knew I was not going to have that happen again. From 6 months when weaning and she wouldn't eat food family members were telling me to stop feeding her my milk and limit the bottles and she would get hungry and eat food. That pressure continued til I eventually told most I stopped feeding her at 18month. At that point she was still not eating and as a parent I felt like the nutritional value of my milk was better then lettin her starve! So hubby and I decided to keep it to our selves (we are talking morning and night feeds only now) but at two even hubby wouldn't agree to carrying on as apparently it's just wrong?! (Even if the WHO recommend until age 2 and above!) so I would take her to bed every night alone and do my mummy thing then!
The reason we stopped is because of nursing aversion in the end. I fought it a long time but it got to much!
I feel so sad that people can't see it as a natural thing to do. At 3 I know children that still have bottles of milk for bed. Cows milk. Milk from a different species. It just seems so strange that that's seen as normal but Human milk for a human is not?! I don't Jude mother for giving formula, bottle or what ever is right for them. It's our own choice but I just wish I could celebrate our achievements rather then feeling sad that it's over alone!
7 Replies
Now, saying "milk from a different species" like its unusual, is a slightly negative thing to say, humans have been drinking animal milk for eons. Anyhow, who cares about others! You did what was best for YOUR baby and YOU. That is all that matters. Feel proud, feel happy! Should someone ask one day, just say you nursed till she was 3!! You have nothing to be ashamed of sister! Much love and power to you!! Coming from a formula feeding mumma xx
It wasn't meant to sound that way. I wasn't sure how to phrase it. I just Mean it's so frowned on to feed a human your self and seen normal not to at that age. It's gone what ever anyone chooses. We have the right to decided. But we also have the right to not be judged! Thank you for the power! All mummas some there way so same to you xxxx
It kinda does seem like you are judging other mothers though...especially your milk from a different species comment.
Good on you for feeding so long, that is awesome. Why do you need other people to be happy for a choice you made that doesn't even affect other people though?
It wasn't meant to sound like that at all. I have no ill feelings towards anyone or how they feed there child. But also why should I have felt I had to hide it for judgement from others? That was more my point.
That not one person knew. And for anyone that knows my daughter it is a massive achievement for her to stop and I want, as any mother, to share how proud I am of her too. X
Congratulations on being able to feed so long and that is fantastic for you she hasn't struggled with the change.
i do agree with previous posters though, maybe you could edit that bit out as it does sound judgemental of other mums.
Every mum does there best and chooses the right method of feeding and NO ONE should be judged for this. It's awesome you've made 3 yrs, I'm sorry you've been judged and pressured to stop. No one has the right to tell a mum they are feeding wrong
I see no issue with feeding a 3 year old. I couldn't breastfeed, I would have been happy with even 3 weeks but it wasn't to be so my son was one of those formula and then cows milk babies. It was your decision, you had the ability to do it and your daughter is healthy. Anyone with an attitude about it would be a judgemental bitch and really none of us need those people in our lives anyway so tell people and weed out the bitches in your life I say!
It sounds like you've had a really rough experience with your daughter and getting her fed. I know from my experience these incidences can cause really bad feelings towards the whole thing which I think you may be suffering from - a kind of trauma more to do with the choices you had to make, fight for, and stand behind, than the actual breastfeeding.
Don't keep it secret.
Share your news and enjoy the positivity from those who share your joy. And ignore anyone else, it's not their life or their choice so their input isn't needed in any way.
And as said above, be careful not to let your experience make you become mean and hurtful to other mums. It's similar comments like these that have hurt you so deeply, women take these things to heart especially when they're already hurting.