TMI:
So I have a secret... I am ashamed. But in a sense.. I know it's not my fault. 1 in 8 people have herpes. I had a guy go down on me while he was at the start of a cold sore (not noticeable) and I think (not tested) I now have genital herpes. I have had cold sores for half of my life.. But this is different. I get a single blister.. Down there, once in a while.
This I can not change.. But I have hope for a cure..
http://www.admedus.com/au/technology/immunotherapies/
I do not have sex any more...I do not look for a partner. I don't even think about a possible future with anyone.. Because I simply do not want to pass it on to anyone else.
I have only ever told 1 person... I am embarrassed.. I am ashamed.
While my 7 year old takes up most of my single parent life... I can't and I won't be able to share myself with another. It hurts!
I know that others that have relationships with others while having this infection and are probably quite happy. But I was in a relationship and a marriage for 11 years.. Then divorced.. When I received this. But don't get me wrong. I am happy being single and loving life.. But I also have found that I have forgotten about the closeness that you can have with someone. I push people away.. I fear even the thought of bringing up the topic with anyone.
If you give someone a cold or flu it doesn't seem to matter but herpes is not something that you get over.
I sit here writing this, wondering if I will ever be with someone again.. But I have hope that one day soon... That I may be able to let someone break down the walls that I have built. Until then... I utterly refuse to. My journey will continue alone as I have chosen this.. My path.
I am not wanting pity or direction. I am a informative and educated women. I am writing this, as I need the release..my inner secret released into the world so I may forgive my self or another...for what I have is considered common but not discussed..
I hope that someone reading these words can either protect themselves or one who knows has it... how it effects another.. Simply be sensible and think of your actions as they have consequences.. This virus effects people more than you know..
X
I have a secret!! TMI
I have a secret!! TMI
Posted in:
Self Care, Loss & Grief, Helping others through Grief, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour
10 Replies
I was recently diagnosed with HSV2, I had my first breakout about a month ago, despite not being sexually active for 6 months. The doctor said I could have had to for years as many people are asymptomatic.
Did you know there are dating sites where you can find a partner with your HSV type?
1 in 8 people in Australia carry the infection but most don't even know they have it, dismissing the symptoms as genital itch/thrush/what ever.
You can catch it the first time you have sex or the 1000 time.
I choose to take the ongoing antiviral therapy to prevent outbreaks but also prevents transference if I do happen to have sex. If I meet someone then I'll have the discussion before sex. If they freak out then I'll face that issue when it happens.
Sorry that this has also happened to you.. It's not easy. Yes I know that there are dating sites and options. But I still refrain from even bringing the topic up. This is why I choose not to even go there. If I can't even say to another that I have it.. Then I could not bring my self to be that close to anyone.. This is my choice.. I'd prefer to get to know my self better alone than having to share my burden. X
Ive told my family and close friends. They would comment on there cold sores shich they assume are HSV1. So I'm not going to be ashamed of my HSV2.
Look at it as god wening out all the dosh bags out of your life. If you tell some one and they walk out then they are not worth your time. I'm in the same boat caught hsv1 of my ex through oral sex.
I was the same.... ashamed for years!! Then i met my future husband, and when i finally summoned the courage to tell him, he really couldnt care less. He loves me for me,and he never even thinks about it. It is just the occasional sore, and doesnt need to make you feel bad about yourself.
Hi, I'm pretty sure (as I had a friend go through this exactly) that because you believe you contracted this via a cold sore on his mouth whilst he was going down on you, that you could actually have HSV1 down there, this type is actually not as common as herpes down there and break outs are very minimum (some, like my friend, only had one flare up, the first time and that was it) so you could actually just have the more common cold sore HSV1 down there rather than full Blown HSV2 (herpes). I think you may be surprised if you get tested, my friend was actually relieved upon hearing her results! As cold sores are more common and more approved in society... So to speak.
Good luck with it all x
Actually you can get HSV2 on the mouth from giving oral sex to a partner who has HSV2 even when they don't have an outbreak. So he could have HSV2 and give it to her that way.
I have hsv1 also from someone going down on me with a coldsore which I had no clue was there (wasn't full blown scab looking thing) we split up and then I thought I'd never have anyone again then just 4 months later I met my future husband! We've been together for 15 months took me about 6 weeks to get the Courage to tell him.. He didn't even care he was so scared I was about to break up with him when I told him that he knew I was the one because no one has ever scared him so much when he thought they were about to split.. I already have 3 kids to my ex husband but we intend on having more.. My breakouts are horrible!! But I've only had 3 in 18 months..
I had the same happen to me. Only ever had the first initial outbreak. Now married with children. I probably only remember about it a couple of times per year. Don't let it hold you back. Life is too short
Why are you punishing yourself for something you A) cant control and B) dont even knoe that you have? I just dont understand. Go get yourself tested. You may have absokutely nothing and causing yourself all this unnecessary pain. On the other hand it could be something more sinister. And all this talk about being alone? Its okay! You wont be. As youve said, its quite common. Its also not always contagious, only at specific times. So if you actually go to the doctor there is no reason you cant be intimate with someone without having that conversation when you arent contagious (the doctor will be able to give you information on when you are and how to know). Just use protection :). Mumma you're destroying your own life for something you dont even know is true. Would you let your own chilf live like this? No? Then why yourself?