I'am 1.5 years into my first time school mum experience. I meet a mum at the beginning of last year, she already knew a few of the mums there from kinder ect. We became quite close confiding in each other about the goings on of the school and spoke a lot about ourselves and lent on each other for support when we were having difficulty in our personal life ect and our daughters became friendly. She would sometime call me a few times a day just to chit chat. Fast forward to this year, our daughters had a bit of an issue at school, which we discussed and said at the end of the day the kids need to work it out and we need not to get involved unless it was serious. After that she all of a sudden stopped ringing me and avoiding me but when she seen me was always very friendly. A few weeks went by and i asked her if there was a problem, (i thought maybe she had a personal issue affecting her change in mood?!) i told her that i thought her change in mood might be due to the kids issue she said not at all and if it were she would tell me (i now don't believe this). As a few weeks have passed there have been days that my daughter has told me that the same little girl has done a few mean things to her, i always tell my daughter to find someone else to play with. I feel like this mum doesn't have the skills to tell her child to deal with issues with other kids other than to be mean to them, I've seen it first hand. I feel so silly for opening up to this person and confiding in her, now my guard is completely up! It takes me awhile to trust people as it is. I don't want to be her friend, I've learnt my lesson. But i feel now like she purposely tries to exclude me from the goings on at school i.e. catch ups with other mums ect. I don't know what I'm asking, my husband says just worry about us and the kids. But i feel like you need to be social for our kids to be included in things!!
2 Replies
I think you just need to ignore her. She would ne trying to exclude avoid you if she csnt manage being your friend, thats her issue though. Just distance from her and ignore it and carry on.
No you don't you are putting way too much pressure on the school experience for yourself and your daughter.
Relax, talk to the class teacher to find out how your daughter is doing from the teachers point of view. Maybe mention you are worried about the situation between her and her friend and get the teachers perspective.
There will be plenty of birthday parties, play dates etc in your child's future that don't involve the group of people you feel excluded from and they sound like you would have a far more balanced relationship with there mums than you did your old friend. People like her have very intense relationships that burn out quickly because she is slightly 'off'. If a mum is contacting you a few times a day that's a huge red flag and next time id be the one to back away fast!