Hello IM's.
I am a very imperfect mum. I'm 31 with 3 children (teen and primary) and I've been married almost 10 years. For the past 14 years I have been a stay at home mum and on and off external student.
We are a single income family in the low to mid income bracket and we survive on that but don't live as much as we could. I want to work and it would be nice to live a little easier but I have a major problem. Due to abuse I received as a child I spend my adult life living with PTSD and severe agoraphobia and anxiety. I don't drive or even have a license, I can't catch public transport, I can't ride my bicycle too far due to the physical problems I have as a result from the anxiety. I got a job working from home and talking on the phone last year but I had to quit because I became so stressed and anxious about using the phone I was suicidal. I used to have my own freelance graphic design and art business which I was good at but I became too overwhelmed and had to stop that. I am seeing a psych to help overcome things and seeking various therapies but once the stress hits I go downhill really quickly.
I'm smart and a very quick learner and excell at most things (except being normal!). Is there any hope for me to be able to work part time online? Using emails rather than phone calls. Not needing to deal with strangers face to face. Hopefully not needing to freelance but be employed.
I feel so useless and guilty sometimes. I just wish I could be normal and be someone my kids and husband can be proud of. I wish I didn't have a mental illness.
3 Replies
Could you become a writer or blogger?
Agree with above writing, blogger, if your crafty or sew set up a Facebook page to sell items. Good luck
This is the OP. Thanks for your responses ladies. I am an artist, I sew, I craft, I write, I do a lot of things and either do too much and burn out, or I shy away from the self advertisement and don't make any kind of income. I want to contribute to our family beyond doing the cooking and cleaning, my kids love to have me at home for them but I cant help but feel so embarrassed by my inability to hold down any kind of work because it is just too much for me. My family doesn't deserve to suffer because I'm having breakdown after breakdown but I don't want to be held back as a person. I'm capable of so much even though I am restricted. Its hard and the stigma gets me down sometimes.