We where married for 16 yrs and yes we had our ups and down like everyone, when we lived together it was always like walking on egg shells in the house...He worked away all the time and it felt like he was distancing himself from our relationship, he was living in another town and coming home every month for two days, and he's been saying I've been having an affair, which I didn't.. It's been 1 yr since we have broken up, where still going through settlement and he's become nasty at my daughter and I and he said he wouldn't, he keeps threatening to throw us out but I know he can't until the settlement is done the problem is we live in a small town, where every one knows everyone, there where other issues and my lawyer asked me to put on a dvo order but I don't want to, and I'm scared if I get up to the court house his mates would have told him, I known there not allowed but that what happens in small places and we also get the finger done to me and my daughter who is 9... and the dirty looks from the people of the town, and when we do something at the house the neighbors ring his father than who rings him.. then he rings me and abusive me on the phone, he just walks on in the house when ever he wants cause he keeps saying that he is the landlord. I don't work and haven't for about 20 yrs, he said that was my choice, but he never wanted me to work for our kids I have been offered a cheap rental in a much bigger town 1.5 hrs away from the smaller town and it has heaps more schools/gyms/activities with maybe the chance of getting a cleaner job and lose weight as I'm one very big lady 125kg if I'm lucky enough, but I'm worried about my girls schooling, but he has moved on with another woman who says there friends but they go walking with her 3 girls and my daughter and sometimes lunch and he wants me to pick them up at the pub and I see them eating together and my heart is acting, it's like he just dumped us and left us to rot and he won't help with school bills still has not paid maintenance ...
1 help me how do I get over this and move on?
2 should I move to another town?
Divorce.. Do I move to a new town or stay? And how do I get over our relationship when he has clearly moved on?
Divorce.. Do I move to a new town or stay? And how do I get over our relationship when he has clearly moved on?
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6 Replies
If you can move towns legally (without him taking you to court and dragging your asses back into town) you should move. If he only sees his daughter weekends then there shouldn't be an issue.
You should move out of that house as soon as possible anyway for your own mental health.
Your daughter will be happier in the new town away from the stress so her schooling will be fine..
You should get yourself into counselling. Your GP can help you organise it. Toxic relationships are the hardest to move on from.
Get legal advice and go to the womans shelter for advice options strategies and most important personal support to help get you through it the best way.
Number 1; file for child support through an agency so he cant not pay
Number 2; speak to your lawyer about moving with your child but i would be getting the hell out of their
Number 3; if you are currently paying rent to him and his the "land lord" no landlord is just aloud to walk into the house.
Number 4; he is stalking you when it comes to everyone watching you, if this continues or you are copping abuse then YES you need a VRO
Personally i would be taking the rental and distancing myself from him
Yes move towns
Get that DVo asap
Try and get job
Get some independence
They love to control so that's why he didn't want u to work
It's all about control
I was in similar marriage for 17 yrs
Best thing I did was too piss him off
Happily divorced
Hello... thankyou so much, everyone says it will get easier but some days I'm just exhausted from it all...? I guess I'm scared to move my ex has always, organised things like that, he was the one that made all the decisions... it's like I'm scared to make my own decisions.... I'm seeing a person to talk with, but she said it will take time, and time to find myself, I have no family and my friends are all his not mine... I just want the best for my daughter and myself... it's like he still has control over us, my daughter won't even sleep over her dads because she says she not comfortable, but I know it's more than that...
Would like to thank you all for your advice, i will take it all on board...? This has meant so much to us...