Could this go on the Facebook pages, for some varied opinions?
I'm, just after some insight. I'm wondering if it's a common hormonal thing with mums. I suppose I'm looking for an explanation other than 'I'm crazy'. Did you have to fight an overwhelming need to have another baby straight away. My little one is nearly 1, and I love being a mum more than I ever could have imagined. However I had a terrible pregnancy, and nearly died during labour. I'm still not fully recovered and am on a lot of medication. I was also diagnosed with PND. I am only regaining my old emotional control now, and considering weaning off the antidepressants. In spite of this, I sit up at night reading about other women's labours and pregnancies, I look at prams I might like to get "next time" I look at pictures of new borns, I read articles about breastfeeding, and yearn for it. My milk hasn't completely dried up, despite my prolactin returning to normal and not having breastfed for nearly 9 months (I honestly think it's because emotionally my body doesn't want to give it up). I have to fight the urge to get pregnant constantly. It's almost overwhelming. I just had a baby and nearly died and my brain won't let my body or my emotions take the rest they need. My head needs me to go back to work for a bit. Not to mention I need years to get over my little ones pregnancy and birth and yet I'm pining for another baby, when the one I've got is still a baby. My husband always says it's in my hands and would get pregnant as soon as I say the word, which scares me because it would be so easy to give in. I just know my body and mind need time, it would be the best for me and therefore the family, but God it's hard. I was just wondering if it's something others experience too, that maybe it is a mumma hormone thing? I'm even hoping with time it might ease.
5 Replies
I had a really complicated delivery diest time around and was dead set on nover having another baby ever! I had PND was medicated and felt like a failure. But with time I was able to calm and realise that no 2 deliveries are the same.. no 2 pregnancies are the same. I had my second baby when my first was 3 years old. Great pregnancy, elective csection and was nothing in comparison to the trauma i had experienced first time around. Currently awaiting the arrival of bub number 3
I think it's partly hormonal and partly that you are trying to process what happened and are craving what you missed out on.
I just remember around the 9month mark my body started really kicking in hornonally too. I think it's when your body starts to fall back into natural patterns.
My sons developmental patterns didn't go as per normal and I remember I really craved for a long time another child even though I wouldn't have had the time, energy or psychological resources to cope with another child. I'm so VERY happy I didn't give in to the craving because quite frankly it would have been a disaster. I found really processing and grieving for what I had imagined/dreamt my pregnancy and baby would have been like helped those cravings go to a normal level.
I think it would also be helpful to change your focus too. Find some other interests to occupy your mind. It's ok to want another baby and remind yourself of your time frame. But have the thought, and then move on to another topic, activity or hobby.
I also found it helpful to have my birth control sorted. Something like the mirena or implanon that you can't just sabotage was a good barrier until these feelings pass. My feelings did pass BTW.
Wow i had a traumatic delivery, hard first year the thought of having another made me sick. No frickin way would i want to do any of it again or want to try to handle two when i was sinking with one.
It took 3 years to come around and start thinking about logistics of another (still keeping the birthing part of it far out of mind!)
Maybe you do want another and will cope just fine if not better than the first time. Its possible! Nothing says the second will be the same as the first. Its possible it will be entirely different and often birth is easier second time.
Your first will be 2ish thats a nice gap.
Your baby will be almost out of the baby phase now too, so its probably hitting home that its gone already. difficult as each minute is, it does go in a blink. I think we really get that more second time around - it will pass, i know this helped me cope better.
I guess the question is are you just pining for the chance to relive the pregnancy and newborn bit or do you want a second child.
I am really wanting anothet baby and that feeling is so strong. I had natural births and then my 4th ended up in a csection coz she was breech. I was done with having kids and was suffering pnd. I unexpectedly got pregnant right after birth before my period returned. I went on anti depressants and the dr said was the ones recommended for pregnancy. At my 12w scan my baby had no heartbeat he died a week earlier. I weaned my self of the anti depressants as i blame them. Now all i want is to get pregnant again. Its been 4 months so far and i know i alreadu have my hands full with the 4 kids i have but i cantget rid of that want for another
Oh gosh. My heart aches for you.