I understand this may seem particularly obnoxious and vain to some people, however I'm not sure where else to seek help.
I'm addicted to shopping, mostly online and largely for my children however also myself. I have recently assessed bank statements and discovered I'm spending upwards of $1100 a month on unnecessary items, mainly clothing. Whilst I'm not specifically using credit cards to buy these items, there are of course better places for the funds to go. My husband has never been too focused on my shopping habits however even he has recently commented on the number of new clothing pieces in everyones wardrobes. We are getting to the point where something is worn once before being handed along to friends or theft stores. I have self confidence issues and wearing new, brand clothing is what makes me confident and happy. I'm sure there are more underlying issues, perhaps anxiety, boredom and loneliness. I have seen a therapist before for unrelated issues but mentioned a shopping problem only to have it dismissed, however I'm confident its now at a point where I need to seek help before my relationship is affected by my addiction.
Shopaholic?
Shopaholic?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Sisterhood Stories, Money
6 Replies
Definitely seek help from a psychologist speak to your GP asap.
Maybe speak to your husband about helping. See a different doctor and maybe your husband can help by doing a budget.
Is there a problem time when you shop eg at night? Consider locking up your devices during the time when you are most at risk in a cupboard or something to prevent online spending binges
On top of other suggestions, how about keeping an exercise book beside the computer, or use an app on your phone to record the months spending as you spend it. Say you wanted to set yourself a limit of $400 a month plus $100 for clothing, record every little purchase (including shipping costs, no cheating) and when you hit $500 that's it for the month. It may make you think more before buying and talk you out of buying something you only kinda want. Any month you don't hit the target celebrate! As it improves cut the limit back to where you're both happy. Make sure there's a pay off. If you go from $1100 a month to $200 a month (say that's the target) then a $900 one-off celebration is in order. Confidence, loneliness and boredom could all be alleviated or reduced with some part time or volunteer work?
Find a therapist who specialises in addiction, even better if they work with shopping addiction!
I have been fobbed off by GPs when I've talked about my issues with binge eating. It's not drugs, alcohol or gambling so we're not listened to, also we're women, so find someone who will take you seriously and want to help you.
Have you seen those hoarder shows, where a psychologist works with them, giving them strategies and helps the person to make changes, in a gentle, kind way?
Once you discover the underlying issue, you start to work on it, with the support of your therapist, hubby, friends, family, whoever you love and trust.
Good on you for seeking help and support. Never be embarrassed about that, it shows great strength!
I could have written this! I've definitely associated it with anxiety and emptiness, not being fullfilled in other aspects of life; socially and employment wise.
Both circumstances have recently changed, I have more income but have surprisingly shopped less lol