Single mums - can we have it all?

Anonymous

Single mums - can we have it all?

I'm not really sure if I'm in need of advice, or just want to hear from some other single mums who have been in my position.

I'm a single mum of two. I'm almost 30. I rent, drive a crappy car, and only have a small amount of savings that I keep 'in case of emergency'. We're definitely not struggling but I'd love to be able to afford more for my children. I don't want to be the single mum that just manages to make ends meet my whole life. I grew up in a single parent family and I watched my own mum struggle financially. I want to be able to provide my kids with everything they need, plus some luxuries. I want to be able to take them on holidays without having to save meticulously for a solid year or more beforehand. I'd love to own a home one day, somewhere they can always come back to. I want it all and I'm willing to work my butt off for it! Is it doable?

I haven't worked since before my oldest was born (approx 8.5 yrs) and even then it was just odd, temporary, dead-end jobs (fast food etc). I chose to be the stay-at-home mum so that I didn't miss out on anything while they were little and I've loved doing it - no regrets. But now I'm thinking about our future. I'd love to have a career. I've recently made the decision to go back to study and have just been accepted into university. By the time I finish my degree my kids will be about 11 and 13. I wish I'd started earlier but I only now feel like I finally know what I want to do with my life. I'm determined to work hard and do my absolute best, but part of me is freaking out that I wont be able to do it all!!

I'd love to hear from other single mums who have gone back to study or who have set career goals later in life and managed to juggle everything whilst raising their kids. Inspire me with your success stories please!! Where did you struggle most? Do you have any hints or tips that may help me? Anything at all that you think may be useful! Thanks in advance.

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Mental Health, Self Care, Sisterhood Stories, Parenthood Guilt, Education, Kids, Money, FAQ

4 Replies

Anonymous

Hi, yes we can! I have the same ambitions as you, Im a few years ahead of you thats all. I graduated when the kids were babies, I had nothing and big debts and a crap car. Now i have a decent car (reliable & i like it, which is all i car about) I work and have sorted out my debts and when costs arise like $1500 medical bill I know I will have it covered soon, it doesnt destroy me like it would have once. We go on holidays, we go to shows, we have home internet connected and comprehensive car insurance, Ive joined a gym, get my hair done like really done, get luxuries we want within a few weeks.
We're comfortable.
I would still like to buy a house one day, to buy myself more and better clothes, to make a savings account, but I see it happening now, theyre actual realistic goals.
My advice is to get dedicated to uni, prioritise it and get it finished as soon as possible, then when you start working things will turn around.

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Anonymous

Yes you can have a fabulous Life But you have to choose the right career.
My friend is an accountant, single mum, but has a fabulous house, car, holidays etc. of course it is possible.
If you choose a low paying career then it won't happen though. She has made some really smart choices and compromised along the way though. Her kids are in after school care and before school care and school holiday care which I personally don't have a problem with, but I know some mums would find that not acceptable.

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Anonymous

You can do it. I was similar to you and began uni when I was 32. My kids were aged 3 to 10.
It's hard. Incredibly hard.
Before I did my degree I was earning around $38000 per year. Now I'm earning $97000.
It's worth it.

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Anonymous

You can do anything
I've got a 3 yr old and a 6 month old

I work 2 jobs (1 x 3 days and 1 x 1-2 days very casual) Im also trying to get my photography business off the ground. I leave home at 7am and return 6:30pm most days!
Photography takes up some of my weekends too! I do have an awesome support network and pay a lot in child care fees, but soon I'll be cutting back to enjoy life and my kids!!! Just gotta do what you gotta do! Go get them and show your kids how rewarding it is to work hard for what you want! You reap what you sow! This mantra keeps me going! I cry some days cos of the stress but I've set goals and can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

You got this good luck!

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