My brothers kids 9,10, 2 were removed from their home due to drug use in the home and not being cared for. They now live with my parents . My father has terminal cancer so my mum whom is very capable has all of this to deal with. The kids have issues. Nothing major outwardly. Very well behaved kids. But the 9 year old is still wearing a night nappy ? Is that just trauma ? He has speech issues. Not rounding his words ect. (Sounds like he's deaf when speaking) the 10 yo is struggling at school and needs extra help but scared to ask for it . Nothing to do with my mum. I'm sure it's just overwhelming. It's only been a short time in her care. Although she says it's ok. I considered taking them all on along with my 3 kids (single working mother) but decided it wasn't feasible with living arrangements and what would be needed to give them fulltime care. But my mum isn't coping at her age. Has anyone been in this situation . Does any one have any advice ? If I could I'd relocate and raise all these kids along with mine. But that wouldn't be fair to my children. I've worked hard to support my kids all their life and if I did I'm sure they could be disadvantaged. I really don't know what to do ?
Children removed from their parents , how to help
Children removed from their parents , how to help
Posted in:
Sisterhood Stories, Kelly (IM2), Parenthood Guilt, Education, Behaviour, Kids
6 Replies
I think your mum needs to get herself and the kids professional help. Nobody can guess the extent of the kids trauma but considering theyve been removed from their home, Im going to say theyve been through much more than most kids should and will benefit from having someone to talk to, as will your mum then have help knowing where theyre at and what they each need.
Can you help your mum by sending a cleaner or babysitter once a week for the dinnertime bed bath homework slog. Thats really hard it would be hectic to suddenly do with suddenly three kids.
You can be an ear for your mum from afar. Support her and encourage her and let her vent, when its hard let her know shes doing an amazing thing.
I would offer practical supports to your mum. An offer of babysitting or doing the food shopping, even cleaning her house occassionally will go a long way to ease the situation.
Also making sure your mum knows what services are available for the boys. Psychologist under a mental health care plan, speech pathologist, maybe spending some time with the 10 year old to find out if an educational assessment is appropriate for undiagnosed learning disorders like dyslexia.
If the kids have been removed and placed in kinship care your Mum should be getting support services thrown at her. DOCS/DCP should have, should, have told your Mum about respite care she can use they have people. She needs to get in contact with her social worker/case manager and say something. They can't just dump the children on her and say "Yeah job well done".
As for you taking them on, your kids might thrive having their cousins live with them. Remember if you were to quit your job or even go part time you'd still get FTB for all 6 kids plus the department who removed them will pay you a certain amount too. Could you share care with your Mum?
The 9 yr old sounds like he needs a referral to get his hearing checked and a referral to speech therapy. If there is a neurosensory clinic nearby the 1st hearing appointment should have a medicare rebate with the following appointments bulk billed.
If he gets a referral to public speech therapy make sure it is listed as urgent as he will be seen quicker. As for wearing a nappy see a gp, it could be a normal development issue or it could be something else.
Approach the school for extra help for the 10yr old, if they don't have the resources for it, maybe look into changing to a school that can offer the support needed.
I would look into daycare 1-2 days a week for the 2yr old as that in itself would be a huge break. Personally if I knew my mum couldn't cope, I wouldn't be able to stand by and let my nieces and nephews go into the system, I would relocate or take them in. Goodluck with a hard situation.
Also counselling!
Trauma related for sure poor kids..I see the same issues with traumatised kids I work with :( ensure she asks for help..it's not easy..good luck!