This one is partially for my IM's who suffered PND.
I have a 1 year old and I feel like I might be ready to start trying to expand our family. My partner is 100% ready, financially, physically I feel as if we could have another (I know it is always hard but we are in a good position) however what is holding me back is the fact I have very severe PND.
How did you get past your fears of falling back into that pattern? I am still seeing a psychologist and she has said to me only I will know when I'm ready- which Is true
But I was hoping to hear some other mums stories? When did you feel like you were ready? Or didn't you? What did you put in place to help you the second time that you didn't think first?
Thanks lovelies xx
2 Replies
I'm on the other end, I am currently pregnant with my first and suffered quite severe depression. I wasn't in the right headspace when we decided to conceive so we held off. It got to the point where I was questioning if I was ever going to be ready and that was what was holding me back. I was convincing myself I wasn't ready - but I was.
I saw a psych and we worked out some great ways to cope. Before conceiving, have a plan in place. This included having a plan for when bubs is here, will I have someone to support me in the following weeks after birth if my husband can't take time off of work, will there be someone to look after bubs if I need time out, what about work arrangements? All those types of things. This pregnancy has been a breeze because all of this is in place and I have people lined up for 6 weeks after birth to be there for me. This includes my hubby, sister, mum and best friend.
I would suggest looking into similar. For you - you'd potentially have 2 under 2 or 2 under 3. It will be difficult at times - your eldest will crave attention. Will you have someone there to support you on the days it gets hard? Do you have someone you can call to come and help? Is there someone who can take the eldest away if she/he is getting a bit out of hand being indoors?
I'm a bit different to u in that my 1st 2 babies i didn't suffer from PND at all, and we were watching closely because I've suffered from depression since my early teens, and it's been manageable for the last 12 years now. But when my third came along, and i fell pregnant very quickly afterwards my mental health plummeted. The entire pregnancy i had severe perinatal depression, apparently that's what it's called when u have a baby and are pregnant as well. That was impossibly hard, especially with 3 children to raise and the complications of pregnancy on top. I've seen a psychologist as well as a counselor, and we have a pretty full on mental health care in place, and i had to be put on medication while i was pregnant. Since my 4th has been born, in feeling a lot more like myself but still have a long way to go to being healthy again. But i will get there, i know i will. And that knowledge that things will always get better eventually was what got me through the really bad days. Cos I've seen it gets better. Point I'm trying to make is that pnd doesn't always hit with every child. 1 of 4 for me. And with a good support network in place and a solid mental health plan, even if it hits u again, u know u can get thru to the other side. Because u've done it before. Good luck xox