Hi there!
I'm really struggling with the fact that we won't be having anymore babies, we jave 2 beautiful girls whom I love to bits and were thinking of trying for number 3 after xmas , but we are currently going through diagnosing our eldest (nearly 4) with Autism, after some quick google searching I found that the chance of future babies also having autism drastically jumped and we made the decision to not have any more children(no disrespect to other family's). But I'm really struggling with that decision I am crying daily and to make ut worse my sister on law (hubby's brothers gf) has just found out she's pregnant, I'm super happy for them, but a massive part of me is jealous. I'm completely lost!, Hubby offered her to go thru what baby stuff we have and she can have and I lost it and told him that I didn't want to talk about it, please help have I made the right decision, any one else been thru this and can shed some light?
More children and asd diagnosis
More children and asd diagnosis
Posted in:
Aspergers & Autism
6 Replies
If age is on your side, don't make the decision straight away. I was in my early 20s when I had my son with ASD. It took me three years just to truly understand what that diagnosis meant for our family. I didn't make the decision to not have more kids until 3 years after that.
It was absolutely a grieving process, when I decided no more.
But my advice, delay the decision. Don't choose Google as your source, go to a genetic counsellor. It's ok to cry and not be ready to make that choice either way yet.
I have one child due to circumstances, you just learn to live with it and to be honest, I thank god I at least got one. Try to look at what you do have, not what you don't, it really helps. Also, you will have more time/energy to put into your daughter, she should be the priority at the moment as early intervention is key with autism. Who knows, later down the track you might find she is doing wonderfully and you have the resources to have another? Do you need to make a permanent decision now?
Hey ya mum. I think you shouldn't be so hasty. We had 3 kids under 2 1/2. When we found out our oldest had autism our youngest was 3 months old. I don't think it's a death sentence. It is a spectrum disorder so no 2 children are the same. Our youngest has a genetic condition and I some time really pray that he had autism as it wouldn't be so hard. There is a lot of help out there now and people are much more understanding there will me medical advancements in the future. It seem hard when they are under 5 and before you get your child diagnosed it can seem over whelming and you do go through a grieving process. But just wait to speak to paediatric specialists and find out with what your are dealing with. Feel free to contact me. All the best.
Two with ASD one HFA and one not and needs a lot of guidance to function well and receives it, number three has ADHD. They get it from their dad I'm sure of it. New partner and baby number 4 currently baking. I'm hoping for the best, I'm not going to allow my fear of the unknown get the better of me. I had decided after number 3 that there would be no more with the same mix of DNA and had my tubes tied. Went through ivf and this pregnancy has been completely different. It's a hard decision but you may need to seek counselling to come to terms with your decision.
I have 5, all diagnosed asd
Asd would never be a reason for me to not have a baby, finances, relationship problem, my health I would take into consideration, but never asd
We do things differently to other families, but we're doing just fine
Have a look at both your families of origin, can you see traits in grandparents, uncles, brothers? What about you and hubby? This might show you a genetic disposition.
I have a 20 yo daughter who is not diagnosed but is quite 'aspy' and two sons 17 & 13 who are diagnosed with autism dyslexia ADHD. It was the 17 yo who was a lot of work when younger but bloody hell it changed me for the better. Number 3 was not planned, he actually had cancer at 2, so that puts everything else into perspective.
I live in an aspy household, I wouldn't know any other way now, and it's supported my daughter well, who's in her 2nd year science degree at Uni 5 hours away! She has dyslexia but not severe like the boys.
I love how unique we all are. We're all neuro-diverse and that's more than ok. There's never a dull moment that's for sure. And ps we travelled Aus for almost 2 years
Ps you've come into it at a good time, with the NDIS rolling out, it's an unprecedented change to how people with disabilities are supported and will have better access to the community