Help.... This is long!!!
My partner has a nephew who is 21.
I am sure he has mental issues and I know he has an issue with marijuana.
So a few months ago he had an "episode" and hit his dad and went pretty out there. So the police were called. He got released and went home and hit his dad again.
The dad got an avo and sent him to Sydney to live with his grandparents.
He has had a few episodes down here and to help out we let him come stay a couple of nights.
He asked for help so I took him to my Dr and organised a psych.
He has court in a few months and this is what he has to do.
Then it turns sour.
We have 6 kids.
He stole money from us and I got up at 4am to find him smoking pot in my garden.
So I said to him he cant do that he will go to jail. I have kids and its not ok.
He lost it called me a bitch and a psycho...
Sent him back to his grandparents.
They have now booked a holiday overseas for 4 months.
They asked us to take him.
I said I can't as he is still smoking and needs to be medicated and I have little kids.
So its gone crazy.
The nephews dad has lost it at me saying I am selfish and nasty and he hopes I die.
Turns out the dad is the one who supplied the drugs.
So now we are getting daily texts from the grandma and dad...
He will go to jail thanks to you.
You should die..
I have 3 kids and I look after my partners 2 as well. And we have a baby together.
The family have gone into attack mode saying that my partner should put his real family before my kids.
I am just so over it. Today the dad has announced that he has to buy him a car and he will live in it- and its because of us.
I feel like I am in the twilight zone.
The nephew had a job for 5 days got fired.
Gets centrelink but says its not real money as he didn't work for it so he gambles it all.
I just don't feel that its safe. My feeling and my Drs is that he has bi polar and drug addiction.
I have all these kids and surely that comes first.
Please all advice appreciated.
16 Replies
Yes you are right your kids come first!! Honestly his family sound like horrible enablers. He is 21 years old an adult!! It is not your responsibility to baby him he is not going to be homeless or in jail through any fault of yours but through his own behaviours and bad choices.
I would cut contact with your partners family I know it's a bit thing to chuck out there but they sound toxic. They are wishing you dead your partner should be stepping up and putting them in their place.
That nephew is the way he is because of his family babying him he needs to take responsibility for his actions and standing on his own two feet. I'm going to say it again it is not your responsibility to look after him! ! Your children and their safety and wellbeing come well before that manchild!!
Thank you
This has all helped so much to help me be strong
I agree with you, totally. He is 21, not 12.
You can't be expected to look after a 21 year old. Firstly you can't possibly do anything to keep him safe, he is an adult now, his parents have missed the boat in that respect.
Secondly your kids come first. If your husband even looks like caving you should take the kids and go elsewhere for your kids safety.
Third, everyone needs to stop enabling his behaviour. Sadly probably the best place for the young man is jail, at least he'd have a chance to get his head clear there.
Your not being selfish or a bitch!!! Your completely in the right to not allow him back. Your family comes first:) you'd think if his dad had to put an avo on him, surly he could see your point of view. I hope your partner and yourself are together on this.
Mate, he's a 21 year old man! Neither you, his Dad, his grandparents are responsible for him at this point. He wants to do drugs, go to jail and ruin his life: that's on him!
You have already gone above and beyond for him. Absolutely none of this is your fault.
His family are treating you terribly, I would tell the all to shove it! How dare they blame you!
Stick to your guns and put your family first.
Thank you so much and I will stick to it. You girls made me feel strong!
Why do you have to look after him? If they're overseas why can't he live there and house sit? I'd suggest that!
Thank you! It was suggested but apparently man child cant cook or wash clothes.
Meh!!!
OMG these people sound almost comical! It's a great chance for him to learn, tell them to get him to make 2 minute noodles and heat up some baked beans on toast :P And there's laundry mats, there's so many ways around those silly excuses they have given you!!!!
Soooo. Dad turns his son into a drug fucked selfish cunt, kicks him out with an AVO against him but it's ok for him to have to live with you and your kids? Or even with his grandparents for that matter? Dad is a moron and you should not at all sweetly tell him to go fuck himself with numerous sharp objects, in the eye sockets.
Fuck that, dad can buy him a car to live in. Make sure you get the rego and report it to the cops because a fucktard like that isn't going to not drive it smashed off his face.
I think I love you!
Lol.
Made me smile thank you.
Original poster.
So granny takes a holiday, he gets an avo but you are supposed to handle it? They won't, why should you? What a bunch of psychos, stand your ground, you are doing the right thing. Next time granny texts, tell her to take him on her holiday lol
I love that idea! But she cant take him as she wants to sunbathe and he will want attention. Poor granny is distraught over the whole thing.
Think of the suntan ...
And tell daddy to get the avo removed and take care of his own son. Those 2 responses and that's it, don't respond again! Silence is powerful, when you don't engage, they will try and find someone else to dump their problems on.
Not your monkey, not your circus.
He stole from you, he brought drugs into your home and he is violent...!
You have a responsibility first and foremost to the children in your care. You all deserve to feel safe. I'd ask them to stop harassing you, and if they don't, take it further. Better still, get your partner to deal with his asshole relatives
It sounds like the nephew is off the rails and his dad and grandparents are enabling him. You are quite right to look after your safety and the safety of your children first. If he jeopardizes that, he needs to go. He needs to take responsibly for his actions and face the music, something I bet he won't do while he has people enabling his illegal and antisocial behaviors. Stick to your guns mumma bear, he is old enough to face the consequences he has brought about.