How do I help my husband?

My husband is overweight. Actually, he has been measured at morbidly obease by the doctor, which I forced him to go to. This is not about my attraction to him. He was overweight when I married him 13 years ago. I'm attracted to more than his body. He has a beautiful mind, kind soul, and is an absolutely wonderful husband and father. We also still have a pretty good sex life, although it is effecting that because it can be tricky, because I weigh almost 1/3 of his body weight (but heck, where there's a will, there's a way!) This is about his health.

He has numerous illnesses and diseases that run in his family - heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, just to name a few. He is 38 years old and is permanently on blood pressure medication. He can barely walk a flight of stairs, does no exercise and has sleep apnea, that he won't use his cpap machine for.

I cook healthy meals (I eat a paleo diet due to a dodgy gut), and encourage him to eat better food. I only serve healthy food (with the odd treat every now and again), so if it's something I cooked, it's good food. It's what I don't cook, and when I'm not around to make him something that's the issue.

I'm so very careful about what I say and how I say it because I know he's self conscious of it. He says he wants to lose weight but never really does anything about it. We bought about $3000 worth of gym equipment (his idea), which I'm now the only one who uses.

The biggest problem is, he works so damn hard! He's in a high pressure, high responsibility role, and he is amazing at it. But it means he's gone a minimum of 13 hours a day, eats what he can, when he can, and is exhausted at nights and on weekends.

I was doing all his menus for a few months, when he really down about his weight and asked me to help. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks, all calorie counted, correct portions of protein, vege, complex carbs etc. He continually had good losses each week. He was doing amazing, but his lunch bag started coming home untouched, his weight started gaining, and the time planning, prepping and cooking each day wasn't something I was willing to continue, for food to be dumped in the bin. Plus I figured at some point he had to take some responsibility and make his own healthy choices.

I just don't know how to get through to him. I'd never go the 'harsh, shaming' route, because I know that would hurt him, but sometimes I wonder if perhaps I don't say enough. I can count on one hand the number of times we've talked about his weight, and it's ALWAYS been brought up by him. The Doctor was VERY straight forward with him (which he probably needed), and he was so embarrassed and upset. I'm really afraid he's not going to see our daughter on her first day of high school, be there for her school formal, teach her drive, give her away at her wedding, become a grandfather. I'm afraid I'm going to be a widow far too young, and from a purely selfish point of view, I can't 'do life' without this man. He is my soul mate, and I feel like I'm going to lose him far, far too early. I don't know how I can get through to him, that his health is becoming a life or death situation. I was thinking of asking him if he'd ever thought of gastric band surgery, or if that's something he would be interested in researching further, but I don't even know how to bring that up with him! I really don't want to hurt this man. But the weight just keeps increasing, little by little, week by week, and has done for the whole time I've known him. Something needs to be done. Help! I want to grow old with this man, not alone with his memory ?