I'm sorry for what you've had to go through. I'm sorry I didn't warn you better so you didn't have to go through it. I'm sorry that he won't change, that he is who he is. I'm sorry I'm too afraid to reach out and talk to you, make sure you're ok, give you a hug and tell you that you will get through this.
I know how it works, I know how you could have fell for him and how easy it can be to fall back into his trap. I know what he is like. He can make you feel like you're the only one in the world who matters. He makes you feel so loved, so warm, so special. He makes you feel like it will be so great, so perfect forever. Then he turns. He takes it all away in a mere second. He betrays you. He breaks you. He devours your every bit of being and spits you out like you mean nothing. He crawls back, he says he loves you, he asks for your forgiveness. "It was all a mistake" he says with tears in his eyes, "I shouldn't have been angry, I shouldn't have hurt you". Just know it's an act worthy of an Oscar, that's what makes it hard to walk away.
You are strong, you can get through this. You've been through it once and made it out the other side. You can do this again. Don't follow my mistakes, don't go back. He will just get worse; he will just hurt you more. You need to look after you, you need to take time to heal. Please, don't listen to his lies, don't fall for his trap.
The next few months will be hard. You will get an assortment of (what feels like) never ending phone calls and messages. Don't give in, it just gets worse if you give in. When he is asking for you back, remember what he did every time he says "I love you", remember he won't change when he says "it's different now" and remember he is a good liar with every "I never meant to hurt you, I'm sorry". Remember he isn't telling the truth when he says "no one will love you like I love you", because what he did isn't love, it is control, it is abuse, it is his way of trapping you.
I know how much it hurts to have your heart metaphorically ripped from your chest. I know you might think he will change. HE WON'T!
What he wants isn't love, it is fear. He wants you to fear him, to be so scared you won't leave. Please keep safe, please know you deserve better. No one should lay their hands on you in the way he did.
I hope you don't go back like I did. I hope you heal and grow easier than I did. I hope you get out safely. I hope you get support.
Take time to heal. Speak to those who listen. Get out and stay out.
Stay safe.
The ex before you
xx
1 Replies
I can relate to this post so much! I'm now an ex and I feel so sorry for the next person but I don't think I'll be able to reach out as I'll be labeled that crazy ex.
I've since spoken to an ex and I'm horrified at the things she went through. I'm so glad I escaped when I did. There were moments where I wanted to go back but I'm so thankful i didn't.
I wish I had the guts to apologise to another ex because I know I helped him look for children and I now know how that would have effected her and I'm so so sorry.
I hope the person see's this and I hope they can grow stronger and keep going because it does get better. It takes years but I'm finally in a much better place.