I really need some help mums with experience and opinions on keeping or selling the family home. Is it worth fighting for? Do you regret keeping it or letting it go?
I am 3 months out of a dv marriage of 9 years (alcoholic, narcissist, verbal abuse).
He wants to sell as he wants the money and go to another town and start again without the kids and I around. (He quit his job so he wouldn't have to pay child support) he has 2 vehicles, boat, motorbike, trailers, and tractor in his name. Nothing in mine. (I have to give my car back to him as its in his name, refuses to sign it over, and I am not putting $1800 on insurance, rego and tyres on a vehicle thats not mine)
I want to keep it, as it means I am not always going to be at the mercy of a landlord, the kids always have a home to come home to, I can afford the mortgage ($450 p week, currently renting at $430), I don't have to pay stamp duty or mortgage insurance or find a lender that will let a single mum of 3 borrow.
I would rent it out initially, and move back into it in a few years. (My parents have indicated they would guarantor for a remortgage into my details) it is in an excellent location.
Recommendations, experiences and opinions desperately needed.
5 Replies
I personally would get rid of the house. Don't let it become a sticking point.
Also if you keep the house you have the expense of rates, repairs, and can't claim rent assistance for where you live
Do you own it free hold or is their a mortgage? I would definitely keep it if you only have to borrow half of the value to pay him out. However, all of his assets that he accrued in your time together are technically half yours, no matter who's name they are bought in or registered too. I would recommend speaking to legal aid and mediating (you can be in separate rooms and not have to look at eachother/talk to eachother). I'd offer to wave my rights to his vehicles if he waves his rights to the house.
It would depend on the location. If it near a shopping centre, schools, major transport hub etc and is in good condition, it may be worth keeping it to rent out and buying out the ex. You would need to get it evaluated by a bank to remortgage and that should give you a amount to buy out.
This would also depend on how much you have to borrow - being a landlord isn't cheap. You have to pay rates, water access, insurance, and potentially agents fees on top of the mortgage. Research what similar properties are renting for in your area - will this amount cover all the expenses? If not, it may be worth selling and pocketing your half - then put it in a high interest account to grow while you rent so you have a deposit for your next property or you could buy a smaller property to keep your foot in the market.
1. Get advise from a lawyer ASAP.
2. Keep the house and buy your partner out
3. It doesn't matter what his name is in, you still owe half
4. If he wants to keep all of those things that are in his name, then you won't have to pay as much out for the house.
5. If you want the car, then keep the car
I had a similar experience with an ex dv partner we owned a rental together. He made things incredibly difficult just due to his name being on property and with the legal costs to get him off. I remortgages loan but ultimately had to sell property as the investment property expenses got too much. For what it ended up costing me to remortgage etc I probably would've been better off selling. But weigh everything up first and just make sure if you do keep it you can afford the unexpected expenses of pest control, smoke detector checks, maintenance & rates etc. As well as afford to rent yourself. Sometimes it's hard to let things go and I fully appreciate that but sometimes you're better off starting afresh & buying another property down the track.
I bought him out and remortgaged in my name about 2 years ago. To remortgage you need legal speration documents. Get in touch with a good lawyer if you haven't already. My 3 kids and I stayed in the house and I let out one room to help with payments. Also paying $450 a week. So glad I kept the house for us.