Sons teacher made me feel like a d**k today. I didn't know who to post this to but here goes...
So about 6 weeks ago I had my son taken to a GP to get diagnosed for ASD and ADHD. The GP then referred us to a specialist ped and the ped said he had high functioning autism and ADHD. After that I told the school of his diagnosis and had the ped send all the paperwork to the school. I informed his teacher and the teacher said he would now be assessed by an in school councillor or something like that.
Today when dropping him off his teacher pulled me aside and said that I told my son's reliefe teacher that she had all the notes regarding my son's diagnosis. I said no I didn't and relayed the conversation to her. No one had told the relief teacher about my son's disability and when I told her she was shocked. This made me mad as you'd think it was important to tell her. His teacher then said my son wasn't actually "diagnosed" with ASD and ADHD, not until more assessments where done. This confused me as we had gone to a GP to get assessed and then a behavioural/neurological ped who told us that he has this disability. So why is the teacher acting like his diagnosis doesn't exist and making me out to be a lier? She made me feel like a complete idiot today. What do I do from here? :(
11 Replies
It's a hard one, that's a really, really quick turnaround for a conclusion to be made that he has ASD and ADHD. Were any tests cognitive/function tests conducted to see how your son responds? Or was the diagnosis made on you relaying information back to him about what goes on? I know when my husband was diagnosed with ADHD, he had to go through a number of tests, one of which he had an ECG and watched different videos and it monitored the electrical activity in his brain and a specialist monitored how he reacted to scenarios. Not that there is any specific "test" that can indicate ASD or ADHD, it is all based on observations and knowledge. It's also generally diagnosed by a number of specialists (multidisciplinary assessment), have you seen a psychologist, speech pathologist and occupational therapist also? Personally, I wouldn't accept a diagnosis from one person alone. Honestly, a GP has no real say in the diagnosis as they are a general doctor, not a specialist. They treat a very broad amount of things and do not generally have the knowledge to even offer a diagnosis.
I am not at all saying the diagnosis is wrong or that you are a liar, but I would be pushing for further testing as it is very easy to misdiagnose. Also, I do want to mention to please not see this as a "disability", more so as a quirk or a difference. Referring to it as a disability can get you and your son into the wrong mentality, it isn't really debilitating or hindering as such like a disability, it is just something that needs to be nurtured and you need to understand and help your son to cope with scenarios.
Please have a read over this and decide for yourself how you want to refer to it, it's completely up to you but for me, I choose difference https://ollibean.com/autism-disability-difference/
In NSW a Paediatrician alone can diagnose ASD and ADHD, simply by observing, taking a detailed family history and a questionnaire usually filled in by parents/Carers and teachers
As a parent I wouldn't be happy with a diagnosis just by those things alone. I'd want more answers because the spectrum is so technical and broad - each to their own but I think it's too easy to just say yes your kid has this or that without actually looking into it enough.
She probably doesn't realise there are other ways of getting a diagnosis other than through the schools referrals etc. Bit of a twit sounds like she's pushing to go through the schools protocol? I don't know. But I guess it won't hurt, no offense but sounds like that was a pretty quick diagnosis he got.
speak to the principle of the school. Your child does NOT need to be diagnosed by the school as long as certain assessments have been done.
The assessments vary from state to state.
A good resource is Autism Awareness Australia
Teachers have a radar for this kind of thing, they see kids every day and have comparisons. I know my sister (teacher) has had instances where parents have been on a crusade to get their child diagnosed and "kind of have" (honestly, I highly doubt in that short time frame your child could be comprehensively diagnosed) but she sees no indication of anything abnormal and treats them the same as before diagnosis. Also, one of my kids has some physical disabilities and I don't think the teacher lets the relief teacher know the extra things he has to do during the day and stop calling your child disabled!
No offense but a teacher has no expertise, often they have a narrow view of what autism is and will claim for eg that because a child makes eye contact they don't have autism. And it's not only teachers.
Arr your sister has no right. Doesnt she know parents and paeds know best? These teachers infuriate me. They dont understand it because they refuse to learn about it and believe in it. 'She doesnt see anything and ignores the diagnosis'. These are the teachers that unlucky parents have to spend blood and tears fighting against.
My son just got diagnosed with the same thing.. its been 6 months.
He has had an eye and hearing test,
2 gp visits
2 specialist visits.
And has an appointment with asos in 6 weeks as well as another specialist appointment in 8 weeks to confirm.
He is also on a list to see a speech therapist.
I agree your diagnosis was quick, are you sure they didnt say 'suspected asd and adhd'?
The progress is alot longer than 6 weeks and i understand its frustrating. But i think you need to calm down towards the teachers. What the teacher told you was correct.
The asos appointment alone is $400 - $1000. Are you sure you have done this?
What's asos?
I had one son diagnosed in Vic and the other in NSW, completely different diagnosis protocol
Even with all the evidence from highly regarded professionals, teachers and other 'professionals' would at times question my son's diagnosis of autism.
Once your Paediatrician has written a letter stating the diagnosis, you give a copy to the school, along with any reports written by specialists with their recommendations.
Regardless of his diagnosis, your son is the same kid he was 6 weeks ago, his support needs haven't changed. The teacher, if a good one, would've already been modifying things for your son.
I've learnt over the years (two teen boys with autism, ADHD, etc) never to assume information is shared amongst teachers or those caring for your child, and getting angry will only close off the lines of communication. Some people are just assholes and you might need to change schools. We did a few times!
You have to be a squeaky wheel, but a smiling friendly one 😉 as we constantly have to fight for our kids rights. Learn as much as you can. Get as much help and support as you can, and connect with other parents who are a wealth of knowledge and support (if you find the right ones 😜)