So I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by life today... and just feel like I need to let it out! I remember as a teenager how I would sometimes wish my Mum didn't exist because I thought she was such a dragon lady or I would yell how much I hated her for not "getting me" but as the 8th Mother's Day without her draws closer I wish I had just 5 minutes to have a cuddle and a cry. Since she died I've had my first boyfriend, left high school, travelled overseas, moved out of home, gotten married, become mother to 3 beautiful children (during rather spectacular and trumatising births!) graduated university and just grown up into a person who is unrecognisable from the girl who lost her mum 8 years ago. And it just makes me so sad. She wouldn't even know me anymore. I have spent 1 third of my life without her... the third that contained the biggest moments of my life. I feel sorry for her having missed it all... I can't bear to think of missing my children's lives, but I feel sorrier for me. I come from a teeny tiny little family and I have no older female relatives and had no one to support or guide me through the last 8 years of life changing events and I just feel tired. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I just feel so envious of all those girls I know who still have their mums. And angry at the ones who don't appreciate them!
This weekend if your mum is still with you just make sure you take the time to appreciate her ... one day you'll regret it if you don't. Give her the time I wish so desperately I could have with mine.
5 Replies
Awe, I couldn't manage life without my mum or dad, they are such a huge part of my life. Big days like Mother's Day etc are a hard time for those who are missing people. I have no advice and I think anything else I say would sound lame x
I know how that feels and it's sooooo hard without your Mum, I lost my Mum when I was 18 and I am now 36. I have been through all my adult years without my darling Mum and I feel incredibly sad that she can't be with me and get to know my precious husband and children. I am not going to pretend it gets easier as I still have days of feeling lost and very sad. On days like Mother's Day I just cherish my children so much and my husband. I think when u experience such big loss you really do value those around you so much as life is precious. Big hugs xx
Reading this has made me cry. I think about my Mum & I love her so much. She lost her Mum at almost fifteen. I couldn't imagine not having my Mum. I've seen my Mum cry over her Mum & I just couldn't do it. How would I have gotten through childbirth without my Mum? Even though I'm not a little girl anymore, I still need my Mum. Your Mum was watching you & does every day. Though you cannot feel her or see her, know that she is always there. She would be so proud of you, & because she can't ring you to tell you that, she tells you by continuing to guide you in the right direction in life, xxxx
She lives within your heart and soul sweetheart. Mums know and see everything, even after they have moved on (it's their job!). She's always around you even if you don't feel it, and know in your mind that she would be so damn proud of everything you have achieved and the amazingly strong woman you have become. A big hug to you this coming Sunday xx
I feel your pain! Will be 2 years this year for me. Nothing anyone says will help so all I can offer is big hugs and you are welcome to look me up and message me any time x