My daughter is just about to turn 7 and in grade one. She has quite fair skin and really dark hair (thanks to the Italian genes!) and it is incredibly visible on her arms and legs. She has been regularly asking if she can get rid of the hair on both, and doesn't like wearing shorts or skirts but will opt for tights on a hot day so they're covered. I don't want to remove the hair just yet as she's quite young but I hate how sensitive it is and coming into summer id prefer she wasn't wearing tights in 30+ Aussie summers. I've brought some Nair cream bleach and was going to tell her it was a 'Hair mask' and put it on her legs and then be surprised when it bleached. I don't want her to think I'm wanting to change her body, but I don't want her being so self conscious about it either. Would you do it? Is it a dumb idea? Would you tell her you're actively bleaching them? I'm not sure what to do!
9 Replies
I think I would just be honest. Ive listened, Ive heard you, Ive looked for solutions, Ive found this.
I think for the sake of bodily autonomy, you should be honest about the product. Tell her what it is and how it works and then more importantly ask her if she would like to use it, ensuring she understands it's entirely her choice.
Good on you for being proactive too, so many parents make their kids suffer through years of self consciousness because of a bit of hair.
She's clearly self conscious. That's going to be more damaging in the long run than helping her to solve the issue. As someone else said, sit down with her, let her know you don't want her to feel this way- and say this is what we can do, would you like to try it?
Firstly, it's great that you're open to letting her do something to fix this. It obviously concerns her and you do t want to disregard her concerns or make her feel worse.
I definitely think you should be honest about the product too. Maybe wait until she says something about it again and say "look, I think you're perfect just the way you are and I don't even notice the dark hairs but I know you don't like so, if you want to, we can try such and such"
It's her body, she should be able to control what happens to it. It's not a permanent change, its only hair! Shaving does suck but so does being bullied by kids at school. My hair was white and the kids still noticed it ... I would run by all her options and respect what she chooses. It's only hair, it's not like she wants a tattoo or a piercing!
As someone with hair like that, I get where she's coming from. I ha e had super dark hair on my legs, arms, lower back, upper lip, snail trail, between my breasts and on the sides of my face since I was a little kid. I'm extremely self conscious of it still and I'm 37! I got teased like crazy for my "abnormal" hair (it's not, just darker than some people's) and I swore if I had a daughter that I would be sympathetic if she felt self conscious of her body hair.
Instead of tricking her into bleaching her leg hair, talk to her about it first: acknowledge that she feels self conscious, reassure her that leg and arm hair is quite normal but if she wants to reduce the appearance of it or remove it (bleaching may not help) that you can help her find a solution. Look into hair removal creams too, if necessary. The good news is that with hair and skin like hers she's a good candidate for laser hair removal when she's older!
I hate that this is even a thing, in 2017!!!????
Equality...pffft....are 7 yo boys worried about body hair?
Watch the doco Embraced, that's if you want to start doing things differently, so your daughter doesn't grow up thinking she has to be "pretty" and meet others approval.
I'm sure there's plenty of girls this young removing body hair. It's just so bloody sad.
I would show images of natural women, in various cultures, and talk
about what equality/feminism means, build up her self esteem and then ask her if it's a problem. If she is still so worried about it, then go through the options, there's bleaching and then there's removal. Give her all the facts and allow her to make the decision.
Unfortunately it's not just school kids who make comments, it could be parents, relatives, adults in her life who actually do the most damage when they make a flippant remark. My sister commented on my teen daughter's eye brows. I have never suggested my daughter wear makeup or remove ANY body hair, if she asked like when she wanted to start shaving her legs, then I got her shavers. She has fair hair so maybe if she was dark then it would've happened earlier who knows
It's her body. It's just a bit or arm or leg hair. She already doesn't like it. I personally don't think you are encouraging her to hate her body by allowing her to remove unwanted hair. There is a product that is foam with a fake razor. It's not sharp and you just leave the cream on for a couple of minutes and then glide it off. It's painless and safe. I don't rememeber the name of it but my mum brought it from the chemist when I was a girl.
I discussed it with my waxer and sought her opinion; then discussed it with my daughter; then took her in and she talked to my waxer (with me there) and asked any questions, then she decided she wanted to try waxing so we did that. She did a test patch first then did the whole legs. Personally I would prefer taking her to get waxed over bleaching but my family has a history of shit skin, so I'm wary about anything that might cause a chemical irritation. But also, its important your daughter understands and okays what she is doing to her body.